the transformation has begun. because you see i am going to tell all of this story. it is the story of where i came from.... i declared above that i weep for my mother. because you must understand that is the women who brought me, no doubt kicking and screaming into this world. so i am not angry with her. and as it turns out i never was. only bruised and hurt. i often tried to do various things in order to bond with her and the thing i did the most was gather flowers for her and transplant little maples i had found growing in the woods out back all over the yard. she really loved that. and of that i spent much time in the woods. this is where i first saw the mushrooms. i will speak more of that later on. and will only say at this point that it was in the forest where i could scream and cry to our ETERNAL FATHER IN HEAVEN pleading for his help. i never had anger towards mom. but i had HATE against those who would put her through such a time that she would resent men so severely. this was the root of the problem she was hurt very deeply because of the misguided evil actions of men which further alienated her from her own mother. you see i had this murderous hate swimming within my being like a daemonic force against the perpetrators of crimes against my own mother! it was eating me up like a cancer. and i did not even know it. and THIS IS THE ROOT OF MY PROBLEM. in the last week or so i have been suffering with severe back trauma WHICH SENT ME TO THE CHIROPRACTOR . this had me go home early from work and i had the next 2 days off. the 2nd one, today was a scheduled day off. thank the LORD IN HEAVEN because i had myself a good crying spell. this is when the voice of the LORD came to my mind saying you leave those people to me and pray that i have mercy on them. and stop hating them. all of a sudden my back began to heal. and my breath began to return to me!!!HALLELUEAH!!!WAHEGURU(GREAT WONDEROUS LORD) certainly the one who made us knows how to repair us.........mOrE nExT tImE