we have an example in the bible where GOD supplied food where there seemingly was no way. ELIJAH the prophet was sent to stay by the brook CHERITH where he was fed by the ravens. and then after the brook dried up he was sent to the house where a widow lived with her son. the prophet told her to give him a little drink of water and to bake him a little cake. she said to him that this was all she had, a small amount of meal in the bottom of a barrel and some minute amount of oil in a cruise. that she was going to make their last (her and her son) meal and then starve to death. the prophet said do as you say but first make for me. the word of the LORD says that the barrel shall not go empty nor shall the oil run dry until the famine across the land was over. it  was recorded that this sustained them for many days. WE MUST LIVE ON FAITH. EVEN AS THE PROPHET DID. THIS IS GOD'S WAY.

back in the day when i was wandering around the globe, i frequently stated that i wished i had of been born dead and never saw the light of day at all. now that i can see my destiny and the ministry i have been put on. i am grateful to the ETERNAL FATHER for allowing me to be born in these times where the beast is rising to take control of the whole world. this will be a brief intense moment. it will be marked by the appearance of supernatural phenomena and supernatural beings both of the ANGELIC kind and the DAEMONIC kind. these will war each other. the DEVIL who is behind this sinister scheme wishes to eliminate the voice of the righteous soldier-saints. as i have written earlier in this story those who use marijuana are doing it because GOD wills it. the ambition of the NEW WORLD ORDER is to instigate the complete dumbing down of the worlds human population. the sports and entertainment business is deliberately doing this as i write. every where one goes, it is easy to hear people discuss the latest games and the biggest heroes. it is as if this is the only goal people have in life to be amused and not to take anything too seriously except the things the diabolical culture we live in wishes for them to take serious. it has been always so. drink alcohol and be ready to be instigated but never ever use marijuana. if you drink alcohol which will damage you in a number of ways this is socially acceptable but if you will keep vigilant by staying spiritually and mentally awake using the various herbs and mushrooms which are by designed by our creator to produce an awakened state you are classed as a criminal. the testimony comes from the final form of the word of GOD sent down. this is the event REVELATIONS records in chapter 11, the testimony of the 2 witnesses. do not listen to the attempts of this culture to denude you of the right to utilize natures plants for medicines and mental stabilizers. while they make people prove to them that they are not using nature so that they can find a job through the requirement of urine and blood tests designed to search for those who are using marijuana. this fear of not being allowed to work if your  body system shows you use herbs causes people to give up their connection with the natural realm and replace it with the artificial products of poisonous petroleum. people get swept away by the tide of falsehood and become brainwashed by this to do the bidding of SATAN. take no though to what you will eat nor what you will wear. for GOD hath already known what is you require to sustain life. he is able to sustain you regardless of what they do against you.

now of course to call someone a hypocrite is harsh. but i do not mean to put someone down but to cause them to awaken. to be at peace with GOD means to have absolutely no fear of another no matter what or great they seem to be. we should stand up for what we believe and not cave to pressure to embrace something unless it is in our heart to do so. truth is higher but still higher is truthful living. GOD is on the throne and whatever it is which comes our way it his sweet will.

in times when there is rampant oppression across the land, it is not usually the poor and small who are innocent who pursue the policy. no it is those in power who do this. all communities are therefore guilty. we have those who are the responsible ones who are marked as beasts in their foreheads. in their foreheads it is written oppressor, unbeliever, murderer etc  these are the ones who bear the mark of the beast in their foreheads. they are kings, presidents, CEOs of corporations religious leaders (such as some of the POPES etc.) generals and other military officers. then there are those who cooperate-collaborate with those in charge. these are they who bear the mark of the beast in their right hands. their hands be swift to shed innocent blood. on them is the mark of CAIN who distinguished himself as the first who committed murder as he killed just not any random person but his own brother! so all religious communities have within them those who stand true for GOD. their behavior is marked with self sacrifice. while the other type is bigoted and commits acts of terrorism. they are therefore marked with a selfish, pompous pride which says me and the things i want over the needs of the lesser well off. ISLAM is no different as it has had oppressive leaders who have been guilty of forcing others to their particular brand of ISLAM which is not the ISLAM taught and followed in its original context which was taught, believed and lived according to by the early MUSLIMS. these MUSLIMS were marked with charity and humility. not so with some however and the foremost example of this tragic scene is the policy of the MOGULS who were kings in INDIA who had the notion to force others into their twisted brand ISLAM. they did this and forgot that the true ISLAM is a thing of the heart. no man can surrender the heart of another to GOD. even by force it will not succeed. as when the same ones are left be. they automatically revert to their old ways of living. the QURAN says in AL-BAQARAH 256---" there is no compulsion in religion because the truth stands out clear from error". the BLESSED PROPHET MAY GOD GIVE HIM PEACE AND BLESSINGS did not ever force others to convert. one shining example is the time when an unbeliever who had participated in a war against the MUSLIM community was about to be killed, converted by testifying that MUHAMMAD was indeed the messenger and APOSTLE of ALLAH and that there is only one GOD worthy to be worshipped (ALLAH). the MUSLIM soldier killed him anyway assuming he had testified only to save his skin. when the RASULLULAH (MUHAMMAD) heard about this he kept repeating over and over again, "did you look into the man's heart?" this was to the point that the soldier was embarrassed by his behavior. now this does not sound as though MUHAMMAD ever forced anybody. forced conversions were later and in the time when the MOGULS ruled INDIA they assumed they were supposed to force all of their subjects to convert. forgetting one important point. no person can be forced to convert. if you do not surrender on your own, GOD aint gonna force you. the point is that SATAN'S argument could stand that GOD creates people and forces them like robots to do his bidding. well if it is not your choice to submit your will to the will of GOD and you made some show that you had while actually you hadn't, this would make you a hypocrite!

i had promised above that i would speak about GURU TEGH BAHADUR. as you know i converted to the SIKH religion and my mission is to help as many people i can. this is especially true in my intentions concerning MUSLIMS who happen to be innocent of the scathing accusations which have been leveled against them. that all of them are ranting raving fanatics who commit terrorism against innocent CHRISTIANS. this is simply a lie. not all MUSLIMS are so. in fact the majority of the adherents of ISLAM are GOD fearing, hospitable, accommodating, and charitable. let us begin where the lies were first spread. those lies resulted in the needless deaths of not only MUSLIMS but also JEWISH people and CHRISTIANS who were not under the thumbs of the VATICAN. everybody has heard of the CRUSADES which were responsible for countless deaths of a whole bunch of innocent people. the so called CHRISTIANS who carried out these grievous "holy wars" killed other CHRISTIANS whether GREEK ORTHODOX or ARMENIAN CHRISTIANS simply because they were aligned to spiritual leaders other then the pope of ROME. 10,000 innocent MUSLIMS who had taken refuge at the DOME OF THE ROCK were put to the sword which gave the temple mount a blood bath which later on CHRISTIAN soldiers boasted that the blood ran out of the DOME OF THE ROCK knee high to the horses. pregnant mothers had their bellies ripped open and the babies cut out of them and trampled by the horses. little babies were taken by the heels and had their brains bashed out against the stone facade of the DOME OF THE ROCK. these crimes are just a small part of the atrocities committed by men who believed they were doing GOD a service. we also might as well speak about the SPANISH INQUISITION as well as when the SPANIARDS drove the MOORS from SPAIN they treated them in a very dirty way. i will say this that GOD has seen all of it and GOD will recompense the perpetrators the full punishments their deeds merit them. we see the shameful deeds of so called CHRISTIANS who in their lust for material wealth are willing to kill others and steal it from them. also in another part of the world there were SO CALLED MUSLIMS who forced themselves on the population of INDIA who happened to be HINDU. we will talk about this. all people on any side who slaughter the innocent shall be in turn be slaughtered in a like manner. this is what the fabled battle of ARMAGEDDON is all about. it is a battle where those who will kill over oil and other riches can go and participate in a mutual annihilation. and this looms ominously on the horizon!!! since they shed innocent blood, blood will be given for them to drink, their own!!!

i do not know how much more of my story i should tell. obviously there is much more. but how much is needed to convey to you the readers that i have seen trouble since the day i came into the world. and praise GOD i did not fall off the brink of the pit. as many of my friends are now gone. and many more people fell and committed things of horror against their fellow human beings. there are serial killers who have been put to death simply because they allowed hatred to rule them and feelings of revenge lurked in their hearts and this caused them to go off to kill again and again. I PRAISE THE ETERNAL FATHER that he spared me this fate. as i could have very well ended up the same way. but instead here i sit as a leader of this mission, THE ISRAEL OF GOD INTERNATIONAL HOUSE OF PRAYER as a soldier-saint of GOD. over the next few posts i want to outline the mission i am on. as i have stated that this story is an appeal to you and if you have the mind to do so you could help me on this mission either the monetary kind of help or actually getting your fingers dirty. HAITI needs a reforestation program. it is appalling to see the whole country which has been stripped bare from its original tree cover. this makes the people wander into the DOMINICAN REPUBLIC where they hope they can find shelter and food. we want them to be at home and to a forest which is healthy and sustaining of living. JESUS said to his disciples' "i was hungry and you did not feed me." i do not wish this to be announced to myself when i stand before the LORD. thanks for reading

i heard that my friend PERCY was dying so i thought i would go there to visit him. he and i smoked many a joint together and drank many a beer. why i am confessing these things to you the readers is because i want you to see that they were always like family to me. i both rented a room from PERCY'S and spent countless hours there before and after. his mother whom i will not name as i still have respect for her even though she kicked me out. she is like a mother figure to me. she said i do not want you around here. you have renounced your country. you make me nervous. so i politely left the premises. later on i saw her at the SHOP AND SAVE and i said GOD BLESS YOU as i was passing. not slowing down to let her see it was me. she heard me alright because she said GOD BLESS YOU right back. hey i will take that blessing as if it was from my own mother. and i bear her no ill will at all. she is a victim of a bunch of twisted distorted malicious gossip which was circulating. all of that family stuff? that vanished as of course this was before i took my stand that i believe the religion of ISLAM is from GOD and he sent this revelation to ANOTHER TRIBE to be used as a witness that JESUS is the true messiah. ALL MUSLIMS BELIEVE THIS AND FURTHER MORE THEY ALSO BELIEVE THAT JESUS WAS BORN OF THE VIRGIN MARY!!!!!.....no no no before this i was family but afterwards treated as if i was the enemy. can you imagine the reactions i got from people as i told these things to them? especially when i began to say that this alone makes ISLAM qualify..........so i became a SIKH a soldier - saint to make it my religious duty to stand up for the rights of the small and the weak and the innocent. may therefore those who render violence on others get swift retribution from the LORD. and it does not matter one iota whether it is JEW, CHRISTIAN, OR MUSLIM....if he/she does right will not the LORD reward him? and if he does evil, will he not reap that which he had sown?.......my attitude is and what motivates me is the constant vision i had stuck in my head of those poor little kids there who are orphaned in DUMAI- INDONESIA. i had grown to love a whole lot of MUSLIM people as i have known and still love my CHRISTIAN friends. i did not want either side to hurt each other and hoped they would get along. i guess this is a tall order. SATAN has his greedy hands of the hearts and minds of many on both sides and he is hell bent to get them to go off to war to mutually exterminate each other. well have at it folks. looks like to me that somebody has to stick around to see to it that the innocent don't get caught in the cross fire. who will it be who will make it through to inherit the earth well as my JEHOVAH'S WITNESS brothers keep harping on it will be the MEEK......GOD'S LITTLE LAMB. therefore it is a joy for this RAM DAS NIHANG SINGH this lion of GOD to lay myself down at the door of the fold...............

to further complicate things, i had taken my stand even up to the adopting and wearing traditional MUSLIM clothing. this got some attention where ever i went. people shrunk away in fear. so i went on a campaign to set the truth strait i would give away copies of the HOLY QURAN to who ever wanted one. and i was explaining the real ISLAM to counter act the falsehoods which were circulating about it. i was systematically ejected from more then one church and persecuted by my own father and mother. there was some intrigue going on in their church. the old pastor allowed me to pray in ISLAM right in the church prayer room. but when they hired a new pastor i could tell right away that he had a bad spirit and my father wasted no time telling me that ISLAMIC prayer was no longer allowed in the church. he had such a look of triumph in his face when he came to the prayer room where i was to tell me. he said, "i don't know what you are doing meditating or praying but the pastor says it is not allowed here." i replied, "you tell your pastor i will not violate your church." "tell him yourself." he said. "no," i replied, "since you are so gleeful to carry his message to me, you tell him." .........later on as i saw the new pastor had a bad spirit. he was arrogant and eventually started committing adultery with a young women of the church and left his wife for her- losing his job. this was a trying time in my life, wandering to and fro, being chased from the houses of people i knew my whole life.

my stand on defending the religion comes from my basic belief that people ought to be left alone to answer to the  ALMIGHTY on their own behavior. if a MUSLIM wants to take the position that JESUS was not literally begotten and is not a literal son of GOD in any physical sense then he-she ought to be allowed his-her opinion. as long as a MUSLIM believes and confirms that he is sent from GOD and is the true messiah (and all MUSLIMS do this.) we should not molest them. this puts me in a dilemma because there are certain radical MUSLIMS who want all the ISLAMIC community to act the same way. we must reject this because taking the innocent along with the guilty is not the way of the prophet nor is it the way of GOD. the prophet says that if you capture an enemy that you are to shelter him feed him and treat him as royalty so that he may both hear and see for himself that GOD is with you. this is an act of charity. if he then wants to he may embrace your religion then you have gained a brother, because you have bestowed on him the love of GOD. and after he says no i wish to remain a CHRISTIAN or a JEW or any other religion, after the hostilities cease he is to be sent home to his people and required to pay the tax which exempts non-Muslims from the duty of military service. this is the true way. from GOD and taught by the prophet MUHAMMAD. those terrorists who display themselves as being guardian of ISLAM and ISLAMIC countries who veil their faces and carry out horrible crimes such as decapitating the person he has kneeling before him with a bag pulled over his face do not know the prophet NOR DO THEY KNOW GOD!!!! this is based on their narrow definition of a so called jihaad. well i say it is a cowards jihaad. this is not to say that all MUSLIMS are such ranting raving fanatics. most MUSLIMS are loving, accommodating, kind, pure hearted hospitable people on the earth. these are the ones i am sworn do defend. and it is for this reason i became a SIKH. i will get to this in the next post. keep this in mind that i will speak about GURU TEGH BAHADUR the 9th human SIKH GURU who gave his head on the block defending people of an other religion, a religion that neither he nor his community agreed with in theology as he and his community were strict monotheists while they were polytheists. 

EMBRACING ISLAM

this may seem confusing because i am actually a SIKH which is an entirely different religion to which i converted to in 2004 while in AMSTERDAM. why or how did i do this? let me explain. i believe that ISLAM is a divinely revealed religion transmitted from GOD in heaven to the first recipient, the PROPHET MUHAMMAD via THE ARCHANGEL GABRIEL. also i aim to defend the religion as much as humanly possible. this could mean several ways in which i intend to carry out this duty, by word and deed and also if needed by the sword. i mean to take up the sword only as a last resort. and i do not mean acts of terrorism as i have already stated that this is not jihaad nor does the QURAN in my opinion sanction such action. the sword is to defend the innocent MUSLIMS. i mean by this those who are not being aggressive towards other people but are being persecuted in spite of being non aggressive. the sword is in 2 forms 1)the actual physical weapon   2)the word of GOD    this is why i speak out in favor of the religion. and face persecution myself as i have faced it already. my family and old friends who have turned away from me and strangers across the country in places where i have been staying such as in the SALVATION ARMY mens shelter where i was constantly being picked on and called a "fucking rag head" amongst other choice adjectives. the MUSLIMS believe that JESUS WAS THE ONLY TRUE MESSIAH SENT FROM GOD and this is why i defend them. because as i have stated ISLAM restored my belief in the virgin birth. so say that JESUS comes from GOD is enough to qualify MUHAMMAD as a prophet. because he was illiterate and not acquainted with many CHRISTIANS in his day. the QURAN confirms many truths CHRISTIANITY and JUDAISM teaches. and it is all strict HOLINESS. 

i believe in jihaad. but this concept has been taken out of context both sides of the issue. the term actually means struggle. it could become extreme in the form of open warfare. but this is a last resort only after all other means have been tried and failed then in self defense people are suppose to see to it that peace and justice prevails on the planet. the true jihaad is our constant struggle against evil within. it is to fight sin and involves a daily death of self and selfishness altogether. i will go into the QURAN here soon and show this context in its true meaning. i will leave the readers with this food for thought. the QURAN says that fighting is not good but worse is the oppression of people i.e. driving them from their homes and of preventing them from praying in the mosque. because they say, "we worship only one GOD and hence are MUSLIMS," it is said to make trouble for them or if people want to walk upright and holy before GOD and unbelievers insist on spreading corruption. the fight must be ensued until the other side concurs and sues for peace than the believer is commanded to also make peace so that evil will be exterminated. this means you face your adversary face to face. it is not jihaad to blow yourself up and taking innocent people out with you. not every CHRISTIAN is against ISLAM nor is every MUSLIM against CHRISTIANS. and not every JEW is evil. though some obviously are, not all are. taking innocent life is wrong and it is not wrong to answer an adversary face to face. this means that it is cowardly to hide behind embankments while lobbing missiles and bullets at the other side hoping to not yourself being killed. no a brave soldier faces his/her opponents head on with the sword. he/she would not take action which may result in collateral damage or the death of the innocent (i.e. women, children, animals, plant life, old men beyond their years and no ability to defend themselves.) he would fight only those who fight him face to face. any other way is cowardly and dirty and underhanded and sneaky. GOD would not bless such an action. but the perpetrators would suffer the ill kharma his deeds have sent before him.

of course those who revoked my passport used the child support bill i owed as the excuse for cancelling the passport. and this meant homelessness for sure. i had been in GERMANY long enough and had a steady job so that the authorities at immigration said to me, "get a new page in in the passport and we will give you a permanent visa to stay forever here." so i wrote the US. consulate and they said for me to send it to them in MUNICH and that they processed the passports right there. this turned out to be a lie. the passports are actually processed in NEW ORLEANS. all the consulate had the authority to do was issue temporary passports in order for a person to return to the states. when the passport was returned it had a bunch of holes punched in it and it was stamped "revoked." you see i left the states because i was homeless and the U.S. took away that from me. and made me return to the homeless life. even when my lawyer offered to settle the matter the women at child support collection said i would have to pay the whole amount and i did not have it. now the F.B.I. got involved as they were tailing me all over the place. when i mentioned this to friends they got scared and some told me that i was being paranoid. well this turned out to not be the case because sure enough the F.B.I. went to mom and dad's church and interrogated them right in front of their pastor. i will go into this in the next post. as i had embraced ISLAM in 1996. and had spent time in the far east in INDONESIA so they thought i was involved in terrorism. well i was not nor have i ever been.

the man who lived upstairs told me that he dropped the camera down through the heating vent and snapped a photo. so i used this as leverage to force DEBBIE to admit that she was lying to me about the affair. and when i mentioned this to her she began to curse and swear. that son-ovabitch she said! so off she went with her new found sex partner. and when i went to the apartment there was the marriage certificate which was before in a frame hanging on the wall broken and tore up on the floor. i had never gone anywhere and had always provided for her and generally gave her no real reason to be so nasty to me. all of this hurt me and put me in a rage which i was still in years later. even when i was living in GERMANY 20 years later i was still in a rage. i just never forgave DEBBIE nor could i forgive PATTY who disappeared with out telling me that i had a daughter. of course neither she nor PATTY are the only wrong doers here because of DEBBIE'S infidelity, i began to play the game-"i can do this too"- so i began to fool around on her to get even which was no better and since i already was in a living hell by this time it just added to my anger and misery and i carried this rage until here recently. all of this built up anger left me a person who had absolutely no peace in my heart. but only rage and anger. this is why the practice of BUDDHIST meditation did not work. that sort of meditation needs a person to leave behind all attachment and desires. these things kept me from getting peace ant because of it i wandered the globe, around the planet twice. in 1997 i left for EUROPE and off to the REPUBLIC OF INDONESIA, MALAYSIA, SINGAPORE and beyond. in 1999 i left again to go to the far east and then i lived in EUROPE for years. living on the floor of mosques  and in a camper. things began to get sticky because the US government cancelled my passport and forced me to return to the states which meant homelessness. and i wandered far and wide across this country FROM UTAH TO NEW YORK CITY TO SOUTH CAROLINA TO TENNESSEE TO FLORIDA TO ATLANTA, the FBI was following me and i will tell all soon.............

Mr. Phelps and i began to chum around at the gas station and when i got terminated, he and DEBBIE began to have an affair. i knew it was going on anyway but i could not get her nor him to admit it. afterwards when i saw him i would chase him down and try to get him to get out of the car to fight but he would only sit there with his window up ad stare at me. i tried this several times and she would come and get between us. i remember once she said to me, "if you touch him, you will never see your son again!" actually he was not my biological off spring any how so i was not daunted. i stayed mad at him for months and at her for years. i hated her guts and it ate at my soul. because i was so full of rage and anger that i may have killed him. i am glad that GOD did not allow this in spite of the things i said and the way i was acting. it was partly my ego which i felt humiliated in front of my friends that i was locked into the vice of needing to save face. i remember that she told me that she wanted to separate for a week to think things over. i cried and cried after she told me that. so i left and went up to KENTUCKY with my uncle. it was not 30 minutes when i left the house that DONNIE showed up there and spent the whole week with her. i was told this by the man upstairs who we rented the basement apartment from.............

on my descent into the living hell i was hired on at a gas station in EVARTS KENTUCKY and it wasn't too long afterward that the assistant manager in KNOXVILLE got his butt fired. and WADE who was the brother to the man who was married to my father's sister wanted me to move there to take over the job. WADE had about 12 stations he managed which strung across THE SOUTHEASTERN part of KENTUCKY plus he had the one in KNOXVILLE. in time he caught the manager there stealing money and canned him too. and i was left as manager. my uncle who was married to DARLENE dad's sister was sent there to help me to get orientated as he used to manage the EVARTS station. he was a big crook and talked me into helping him steal gas the first day on the job. it was a simple procedure which involved loosening the four bolts which held the pump computer in place, and lifting it up to remove the main pin. as long as the pin was out meant that the pump would pump out the gasoline and not register in the computer. and as long as the record showed that there was more gas in the huge underground tanks then was on the books,, we could pump it into our gas tanks and nothing would show it. this became the reason that i eventually got terminated. you see i was lining people up for free gas in exchange for drugs. the drugs we sold off to others making a profit plus we took some of them ourselves. quaaludes (a high strength downer) were on the list as well as pot, and hashish and cocaine. and we stole gas daily. when the truck drivers came to fill the gas tanks underground. they would let us empty what was left in the truck to put in our cars. what a racket we had going. and eventually they caught on to what was taking place. all of us were ordered to go take a polygraph. several of the drivers did not show up and were fired. i did show up and got fired. i must have thought that i could beat the polygraph machine but the man told WADE i was stealing him blind. so he took my keys and fired me. after that i ended up sleeping in a motel with DEBBIE who was the girl that i married with another's child. while she worked at the gas station (i hired her on). this is when she started to mess around with my friend DONNIE PHELPS............more to come.

so at 18 years of age, i began my swift descent into a living hell and this did not stop until i saw the bed of the SALVATION ARMY men's shelter in KNOXVILLE TENNESSEE. and it was that i began to search for the real GOD. i had been up to this date studying BUDDHISM and this pathway sent me to LAS VEGAS NEVADA to live at my sister's house. there in LAS VEGAS was a THAI BUDDHIST WAT and i went there daily seeking to become a monk. after some time i was approached by one of the monks and asked if i wanted to be a monk. yes i said. so he gave me a business card from a monk who oversaw this monastery on the other end of LAS VEGAS and he accepted me but i had to wait until he returned from BURMA where he was going on a pilgrimage to the temple of the EMERALD BUDDHA. time was of the most importance and it was running out. one day my sister spoke to me. SAM wants me to tell that he doesn't believe you are trying hard enough to get a job. well obviously i was not there to work in the sense that i wanted anything to do with the accumulation of worldly goods but wanted to do deep spiritual contemplation and soul searching. so SAM my sister's husband wanted me to move out. i was in despair and told her i already know what you are going to talk about so today i am packing my things and heading out into the desert to die. she was not having anything to do with that and said,"you will die out there!" my reply was to her i do not care if i had to die or not if that was what it would take, i was prepared to die. she finally talked me into taking money and a bus ticket to KNOXVILLE and this is how i ended up in the men's shelter. i had gotten into BUDDHISM because i was studying karate at the time and it seemed appropriate. and i was really practicing the religion as much as i could and every day it was karate too. i was looking for some peace of mind but there was no peace as i was being constantly picked on and falsely accused and lied about. it seemed that i was in  constant "hot water" all of the time. this was the first time out of twice i lived there in the shelter. this time i met a women from INDIA who was selling silver jewelry in the mall. she had a booth set up there. i felt so drawn to go and speak to her. i was ignorant of other cultures so i assumed that she was either a HINDU of the same as i was practicing BUDDHISM. i went over to her and began to ask questions. "are you a HINDU?" "no." "a BUDDHIST?" "no." "what is your religion?" i asked. she replied,"i am in ISLAM" i was surprised to say the least and i was fully indoctrinated into the notion that MUSLIMS were a bunch of raving fanatics and did not want peace but only war. this women did not fit within that framework. and i began to see that she had something real which i did not. her and i conversed for over an hour. and i was so impressed. some time before this i had prayed to GOD and told him that i needed a women and that i was not cut out for a life of celibacy. i had been accepted 2 times to be a BUDDHIST monk, once when i was living in CALIFORNIA studying karate. i began to attend the BUDDHIST temple who's congregation was from VIETNAM. i was looking to bring good into the world. this was what i told them when they asked me why i wanted to become a monk. i was aware that i wasn't doing well and had made myself a lot of bad karma and this was the reason i was homeless. I JUST WANTED TO ATONE MYSELF. it is ironic because there in KNOXVILLE i began my evil years and these years had now come full circle and there i was again, right back there in KNOXVILLE. stuck in a trap......

so i went to the church and confronted the former pastors wife who by now was the elected pastor of the church. i said to her what went on and asked her if what the man was saying about her was true. "i hear the real reason your husband was fooling around on you was that you refused to allow him to have sex with you" i said and then i asked the question,"is this true?" with tears in her eyes she said yes it is true.............well i did not need to hear any more and i just gave up right there on the spot............and i sank further in despair. i sank so low that i had come to deny many things and to deny the virgin birth of JESUS CHRIST was most serious. i went into occult, magic ritual, black magic, and satanism. i was an adulterer, a thief, a petty criminal. i thank the LORD that in spite of all of this that he watched over me and protected me from my own stupidity many times. many times i engaged myself in things which if caught would have been in prison such as embezzlement from the gas station i was managing which eventually got me fired. and drug use such as cocaine and heroin and opium etc. GOD saved me from all of this stuff, so that i stand before GOD today in this mission THE ISRAEL OF GOD INTERNATIONAL HOUSE OF PRAYER as a soldier-saint for GOD. i give GOD all the glory and praise for this. it is a complete miracle that i am even alive. i remember snorting cocaine right off the table in a bar in LAS VEGAS. i got quite a thrill when i committed a crime and was able to get away from it. what i forgot was that i hadn't actually gotten away with anything because you see everything i did was recorded by the holy angels. this slide into the living hell was marked with poaching deer and even rustling animals right from farmers fields and the list was endless of the bad kharma i had racked up for myself. the homeless life which i was reduced to ended me up in various men's shelters around the country and i went from deep trouble to deeper despair for a very long time. 

the times came and went at the little church and i was aware that there was something very wrong there. i remember that i was about 14 yrs of age at the time and as i descended the stairs leading to the basement of the church to use the restroom there was the pastor of the church and he had a young women right up against the wall. he quickly moved away from her when i saw him. and i knew that trouble was coming to the church. soon and it wasn't too long afterward he set himself down in the audience and just stopped preaching altogether. i was troubled and suffering with anxiety. and the news finally came down that he was caught by his wife fooling around with another women. and he was gone completely and his wife had control of the church. this story goes deep and it just about wrecked us kids. my sister was very hurt because because the women in question was the mother of her SUNDAY SCHOOL teacher. and i remember my sister setting there crying for a long time. all of us were devastated completely. i did not realize the full extent of this because some years went by and i was 26 years old and working at DEXTER SHOE COMPANY when a fella i knew there began to say nasty things against the pastor's wife who was in full dictatorial control of the church. he and i got into a fight because he said that if she had of taken him to bed and gave him an old fashioned fucking he would have never had fooled around on her. i got mad and told him that i was going to go and ask her and if she denied this that i was going to return and punch him in the head! i was an angry young man and was headed down a bad road already. i had gotten myself in over my head with two women. one came to live with me in the state of TENNESSEE and was suppose to marry me. in about 2 weeks later she told that her father had a heart attack and i sold the only thing of value which was a snub nose .38 cal. 5 shot revolver and bought her a one way bus ticket back to MAINE. she said she was coming back in a couple of weeks but i never heard from her again for some years. meanwhile i met and got married to a TENNESSEE girl who was already pregnant with another man's child. and i consented to him having my last name. this did not last because she ran away with a man who was suppose to be my friend. it turned out he was only there because he was interested in stealing my young wife. who took off with him and he lost his job so she returned to me and like a dummy i took her back in. i found out that the other women had my baby a girl. and much later i learned from the state of MAINE human services that she refused to name me as the father on the birth certificate. but they came after me in spite of it. this was not only for money she had collected from them for the daughter. but also for the money TENNESSEE gave to the one i married on her son. of course to add to this volatile mix were biological offspring i had with her. this amounted to the large part of my wages were taken by force from the state and this put me on the streets homeless! i remember setting there at the hearing and hearing from them what they were going to do, i said what can i do, what you are doing is going to put me out into the streets homeless. the women at the hearing got very harsh with me and told me to go and live in a cardboard box. i got mad and told her that if they were going to do tis i would quit my job and not work and that they would not get a dime! so i did just that and they also revoked my driver's licence. so not only was i homeless but i was forced to walk. it was a 7 mile hike to work and there was big holes in my boots. with snow on the ground i put old bread bags on my feet to keep them dry. finally i sold my car to afford to buy new boots. i was in a pickle.  .......i do not know if i can get into this story every detail but let me back up a few years to when i was about 18 yrs old. i was not doing well in those days and was headed for suicide. already one of my friends had blown his own head off. he had quit his job at the shoe shop and was going to spend as he put it the whole winter living in this camp trapping. i never saw him alive again. he was discovered dead in the spring. i did not know what to do with myself and i was failing fast. then one day i found MARIJUANA. i smoked the stuff day and night. and it had caused me to do something i had never really done. it had caused me to laugh and laugh and laugh. this mellowed me enough so that suicide no longer seemed an option to me. i can safely say to you the reader and i am not ashamed to say it it was the blessed herb given to me by my creator which lead me away from killing myself. of course my family did not see things this way and criticized me severely for using pot. i could not get a break from them before this and when i had finally something which helped me they said i was no good and was nothing but a pothead...... 

so i had this bad taste in my being. which said, "you had it so hard at home that you would have rather have gone to a place where you know will be molested." this was a sick thing and it haunted me for years so that i would find women to have sex with, as many as i could (if you will pardon the pun)lay my hands on. i was trying desperately wash myself of the sick filth of sodomy. and got myself in the most difficult of trap which could exist...WILD WOMEN......PROVERBS warns us about this. you may read PROVERBS chapters 5 - 6 - 7, tells it all and i entered into the next hell which was the one which almost ultimately lead me to death. it caused me to end up homeless for 14 years. i wandered all around the country and around the whole globe 2 times. i want to talk about this period of time in my life which i call the "EVIL YEARS". i have to sincerely thank my maker for saving me through my stupidity. as i am here to tell this story when many of my friends are dead today. alcohol was involved and i sank so low that i flatout denied belief in the VIRGIN BIRTH OF JESUS CHRIST. it was after i ended up homeless that i was restored my sanity and kept it. because it was the QURAN the holy book of ISLAM which saved me from the ruin of my unbelief. THE QURAN STATES THAT JESUS WAS BORN OF A VIRGIN and this restored my faith in JESUS. WITHOUT HIM I HAD NO HOPE WHATSOEVER AND WAS DOOMED TO AN ETERNITY WITHOUT GOD. hopefully if i don't get sidetracked on some other subject i will tell all.  

i found out that hatred cannot be the motivator. and this was the motivation that was haunting me from the core of my being. hatred is the same as murder. a murderer cannot inherit the KINGDOM OF GOD. with such daemon going about in there - there can never be peace. MOSES had it in his heart that he would free his fellow HEBREWS from the bondage in EGYPT. so he took actions which got him exiled into the ARABIAN wilderness under the teachings of JETHRO the high priest of MID-I-AN. you see MOSES took matters into his own hands and this resulted in murder. he killed an EGYPTIAN who was oppressing a HEBREW slave. this act got him in the desert until he was in his 80's before he was ready to go fourth and do it GOD'S way. hatred wants people to take matters into their hands. to take vengeance when vengeance belongs to the LORD. it is his word which is the sword. for all must give account someday to see how they measure up. what a change, which has begun within my being. and finally now i can tell this story so that others can be helped from my experiences. then GOD can use me to help others.............................no, hatred cannot do it only the LIVING WORD can. that is the very word which gives us life and we are living breathing organisms who can consciously worship our creator.

the transformation has begun. because you see i am going to tell all of this story. it is the story of where i came from.... i declared above that i weep for my mother. because you must understand that is the women who brought me, no doubt kicking and screaming into this world. so i am not angry with her. and as it turns out i never was. only bruised and hurt. i often tried to do various things in order to bond with her and the thing i did the most was gather flowers for her and transplant little maples i had found growing in the woods out back all over the yard. she really loved that. and of that i spent much time in the woods. this is where i first saw the mushrooms. i will speak more of that later on. and will only say at this point that it was in the forest where i could scream and cry to our ETERNAL FATHER IN HEAVEN pleading for his help. i never had anger towards mom. but i had HATE against those who would put her through such a time that she would resent men so severely. this was the root of the problem she was hurt very deeply because of the misguided evil actions of men which further alienated her from her own mother. you see i had this murderous hate swimming within my being like a daemonic force against the perpetrators of crimes against my own mother! it was eating me up like a cancer. and i did not even know it. and THIS IS THE ROOT OF MY PROBLEM. in the last week or so i have been suffering with severe back trauma WHICH SENT ME TO THE CHIROPRACTOR . this had me go home early from work and i had the next 2 days off. the 2nd one, today was a scheduled day off. thank the LORD IN HEAVEN because i had myself a good crying spell. this is when the voice of the LORD came to my mind saying you leave those people to me and pray that i have mercy on them. and stop hating them. all of a sudden my back began to heal. and my breath began to return to me!!!HALLELUEAH!!!WAHEGURU(GREAT WONDEROUS LORD) certainly the one who made us knows how to repair us.........mOrE nExT tImE

i can imagine what some of the readers are thinking, "how much can a kid take before his spirit is broken and he suffers permanent psychological damage?" well there were at least 3 that i can remember who spoke up to my parents. this was the ultimate conundrum as if they said anything to my parents especially my mother she would get mad and become more intense and more harsh than before. the three i have mentioned are my grandmother (dad's mother), my aunt who was both the daughter of the pastor and married to the brother of my father. then there was the pastor's wife. who offered to me her guitar to learn on. but mom took it out in me and i did not ask for it. it was given voluntarily. then my aunt had a birthday party for me but mom refused to take me there. they took me instead to PARKMAN where MAMAW lived MAMAW was what we called dad's mom. when always went there on SATURDAYS to take her grocery shopping because they were very poor and could not afford a car. when we got there MAMAW was mad at mom and told my father, "you turn right around and take him back to DEXTER to that birthday party!" (i am sitting here crying tears as i am writing this because the hurt of it still is there) here i am going on 53 years of age in MAY and i have never gotten over the hurt and pain of it in my heart. (i remember the day i was born the trouble my father's boss put him through and after all of these years i have blamed myself for even being born at all.) i am not only weeping because of the pain within myself, but i also weep for my poor mother who was so hurt  in her childhood that she would turn out to be this way. and i weep for all of the innocent children out there in this world who are suffer hurt, homelessness, hunger, and abuse even killed like those children in PALESTINE who are living day and day in such dire circumstances. they live on the dumps and in abandoned houses and buildings. being taken and having forced prostitution  put on them and other abuses every day and i sit here completely powerless to help. i feel for their pain. in 1999 i was living in the REPUBLIC OF INDONESIA. and i witnessed a sight in which i will never get out of my mind. i was in this restaurant eating after crossing the STRAITS OF MALAKA by speed boat. i remember that we did not have any AMERICAN money only GERMAN MARKS and we could not get any body there in DUMAI to cash the MARKS for rupiah which is INDONESIAN currency. so we had very little cash to eat on. i was sitting there in the restaurant  complaining because i could only afford soup. all of a sudden these kids about 4 or 5 of them who's ages i guessed ranged between 3 to 5 years of age. they approached my table and the restaurant owner began to drive them out. he was very harsh. i spoke up for him to stop ans asked those there what the kids wanted. they want to wash your sandals was the answer. why i inquired and the answer was these kids are orphans and have nothing to eat and often polish shoes and such to get some money to buy a little rice to eat. i got up from the table and went outside with them. there i could see the hardship of their lives in their faces. there was not joy and innocence normal kids had but the look of people who had to bear the hard labor as if in a field. they had eyes which were tired. and when the restaurant owner began to be harsh with them one of them, a little boy who i guess couldn't have been no older then 3 or 4 just hung his head. this got to me and i began to weep right there in front of all. i paid these kids for washing my sandals and also bought a large bunch of bananas for them. and recieved my calling from GOD there and then. GOD said through the mouth of the messiah JESUS, "i was hungry and you did not feed me, sick and you did not attend my need, naked and you did not clothe me." i did want to feed them and clothe them and shelter them. THIS IS WHY I AM ON THIS MISSION! HERE IN KINGSVILLE TEXAS at the ISRAEL OF GOD INTERNATIONAL HOUSE OF PRAYER. THIS IS WHY I AM A SIKH SOLDIER-SAINT OF THE LORD. you see i know all of that hurt and i know how it feels to have someone treat me harshly in spite of the situation not being my fault.

to add to this mix was the fact that i would be punished for being sick. this punishment was mostly verbal and i had frequent ear infections and my head throbbed constantly but my mother was very harsh with me to the point of being unreasonable. i remember that i got sent home from school with a fever. when i arrived home there was nobody there so i set on the floor of the front porch. it was spring if i can remember right and it was mild out. thank the LORD IT WAS NOT COLD as spring in the state of MAINE frequently got chilly. it is nothing for the temperatures to drop below freezing in APRIL. the neighbor lady as she drove by our house noticed me there and took me home and put me on her sofa. i was there for quite a while until mom got home. the neighbor lady was the mother of EDDIE ROLF the kid who bullied me and this is ironic that she would be helping me because her son was responsible for terrorizing me while i was walking to and from school. anyhow when mom came home the lady went and told her that i was there and mom came over to get me. mom was sweet to me until she got out of earshot. then she started scolding me for coming home. i was sleeping in the nurses office on a couch there. THEY WERE THE ONES WHO SENT ME HOME. i did not volunteer to go home because i knew what to expect when i got there. also i suffered with allergies and it was that i had to constantly clear my throat. when i would do it she would holler at me. so i would clear my throat as quietly as i could. i invented a system where it would disguise it with other sounds such as pretending to sneeze loudly and at the same time i would clear my throat. i could not do this too much though as she would catch on to what i was doing and i would get hollered at. 

as you can probably tell i desperately need a place of escape and most of the time this was the woods and there are lots of them in my home state. in fact MAINE is just about all woods. there are probably trees growing there which are old growth, parts of a primal forest which dates back hundreds of years which still have not seen a white man only aboriginals . these trees were my refuge when i was a child. i hid in the woods every day when i was a kid to hide myself from the bullies who chased me down on the way home from school to beat me up. so i spent a majority of my time there. so i needed a place of refuge. this is what lured me into the trap of homosexual rape. in our church there was a man who lived with one of the families who attended there. he was a mental handicap and was molesting the young man who lived there. that young man who was at least 4 years my senior was sexually mature as he had an enormous penis and pubic hair and not realizing what was going on in that household i was invited to stay the night. this is when he began to molest me. i was a 10 year old kid and was so naive. the young man talked me into "giving it to his back sides" telling me that this was normal because all young boys needed practice so that when they were older and ready to be with a girl they would know how to "do" it. this was the lie he told me. and he presented himself as somewhat of an expert in the ways of sexuality. of course  i could seek his advice on the matter of sex at anytime so he told me as if he was really my friend. as a kid it was pleasurable to do this as it stimulated my testosterone levels and gave me quite a charge. then it got switched around this time it was he who was thrusting himself into my backside with his large penis and this hurt. all the while being lied to that this thing was okay. because of the abuse i was taking at home and the lack of love and affection i would spend the night there as often as i could. i am definitely not gay. never have been , never will be. i was just a naive little boy who was deceived by the young man who turned out to be gay (i call it queer and i do not care if this is politically correct or not). my need for a place where i was not beaten and mentally abused over- rode the sick feeling i had inside. for one thing  a young boy has absolutely no business having his genitals stimulated at such a young age. this pumps testosterone into his little system and it turns into a dangerous drug! because it need to be self administered over and over again (in some cases daily). most cannot help it and they end up resorting to masturbation which amounts to a situation which is similar to scratching a hive. a hive which you know is an itchy spot on the skin comes from histamine which is produced due to some allergen irritating the body. so the body swells up in spots which itches badly. this invites the person to scratch it. the trap is that it only increases the intensity of the itching sensation which causes more scratching! and the only remedy for it is to simply to leave it alone and suffer the itch until it finally goes away.male and female masturbation causes the production of testosterone in the body which increases sexual desire so that at a normal age and in the right circumstances men will engage in sexual intercourse and in the course of it they will reproduce themselves. under the guidelines set forth by our creator, this sex is to be engaged by 2 married persons of opposite sexual genders. this is GOD'S way and anything else is evil. take an innocent kid and begin to stimulate his sexual hormones and eventually this will drive him to a number of undesired out comes. these outcomes range from frequent masturbation to fornication (unlawful sexual activity), even raping and murder!!! it all begins because a child gets his system charged with testosterone which damages his psychology. to add to this danger some young boys get their system charged with estrogen. this happens as a result of having their nipples stimulated. the stimulation of the nipples in a man does the same thing it does in a women it produces estrogen in the body and makes the boy effeminate and turns him into a girl! although he has no vagina he will seek to find other gay men to treat him as if he was a women. often he will pretend he is a girl and will fantasize that he is a girl and not a boy. the next thing you know he wants to dress as a girl and act as a girl. the nipples are linked to whatever glands which produce estrogen this estrogen promotes femininity in the person even a male. in young girls this is the stimulation of the clitoris. and this is the female counterpart of the male penis. this also produces testosterone in the female body and if it is done often enough the girl turns into a boy with a vagina. she will want to dress and act like a boy. the mental and the psychology becomes confused so much that we hear the statement i was born as a female in a mans body or a male in a womens body. this is the lie SATAN tells them to deceive them. when it is obvious that the person is male and not a women at all or likewise the girl that she is a boy but without the requisite body parts this is why masturbation should be frowned upon and never to be engaged it ever with only one exception the person is sexually mature and married to a member of the opposite sex and they do this thing with EACH OTHER ONLY!!!    SATAN THE DEVIL sets up these programs in order to confuse and destroy the human family. and he does a pretty good job of it. what is required is complete sexual purity and a parent to fully explain to children why this must be so. kids are not dumb and all kids have a basic desire to want to do right......friends and readers this is why the media is pushing the gay agenda on you. SATAN wants to destroy the human family. he wants all people to go down into perdition (self annihilation!) and this was his plan right from the get go and obviously his reason and purpose is to eliminate the final outpouring of the word which will be his downfall. he is very tricky and employs many devices to reach his goal. to completely and utterly destroy all human beings from planet earth.

now i had teachers jump on the band wagon to bully me as well. the principal was one of those persons who delighted when another bigger kid beat me up. after such a fight where i had the other on the ground pinned and punching in the face repeatedly as he started a fight with me in the lunch room. when i reached under the table to retrieved a fork which he deliberately threw down there kicked me in the face as i went under. approached me on the playground and started a fist fight with me. when i wrestled him to the ground and began to punch him the fight was broke up by a teacher who dragged us to the office, the principal said to me that he knew the other kid could actually beat me and that i just got lucky. this was happening because in the 7th grade and 8th grade the GARLAND AND EXETER kids came to the DEXTER school and seeing the others and who they were picking on at the time indicated which kids to bully. so this one kid came behind me while i was taking a piss in the urinal. he started pulling my belt - pulling me away from the urinal so that i was in danger of pissing on the floor. he kept repeating do you think you can take me BINGHAM?! this got my rage burning so bad that i calmly finished my business and zipped up my fly and turned on him quickly seizing him by the shoulders and drove him back to wedging him between the 2 urinals there in which i commenced punching him in the face as hard as i could. i do not remember how long this went on because i had blacked out there and no doubt would have killed him there. but thank GOD i was grabbed from behind by a hollering man who turned out to be the school janitor who separated us and dragged us to the office. he was in bad shape and i felt sorry for him. this was the rage i had in me and my anger was not at him per-se but at my parents, the church, the teachers, and GOD. one thing good happened after this though most of the kids left me alone after that. this leads me up to the real sexual molestation which began about this time. it was homosexual rape actually. and i will get into this soon.

a soldier-saint of the LORD is not a bad destiny to have. this is why i converted to the SIKH religion. to die defending the weak and innocents of this world is an honor. to stand up and fight the spirit of ANTI-CHRIST in this world is to stand up and fight the very spirit which has constantly tried to destroy me from the very beginning. because of this spirit evil has gone out in the world from the time in the GARDEN OF EDEN where mankind was offered one of 2 choices. they were offered the privilege of eating of the tree of life which was the true spirit of the living word which was spoken through the mouths of the prophets and was the manifestation of the true messiah JESUS. not only was it made manifest through him but it was witnessed and testified to by the prophet who followed after him. we know this prophet as HAZRAT NABI MUHAMMAD. since the spirit of ANTI-CHRIST hates the truth it also is responsible for the castigation and persecution of both he and his community the world of ISLAM, since ISLAM is strict holiness. the spirit of ANTI-CHRIST has hated him and all like him. there were a number of others to follow. the most significant was GURU NANAK and nine others who succeeded him and the last of them GURU GOBINDH SINGH upon his death bed appointed the holy book known as the GURU GRANTH SAHIB as the final guru of the SIKHS for all time. what is so significant about all of this is that he GURU GOBINGH SINGH formed the brotherhood of the KHALSA which is translated as the pure ones. these are the inheritance of the whole world. the KHALSA has but only one ambition that is to remember GOD at all times, to earn an honest living and to share some of what you earn with those in need. also to die if need be defending the weak and small. and most importantly he proclaims that MUHAMMAD is a true prophet sent from GOD and ISLAM is from a divine source- GOD himself. i do not feel sad that i have been so honored to be one who is a recipient of a last and final outpouring of the word and when all the dust has settled and we enter the millennial reign of JESUS CHRIST all which will take place will be as a cause of that outpouring. the scripture states in the book of JOEL which is reiterated in the book of ACTS, "in the last days i will pour out my spirit upon all flesh" this is a way to say that the outpouring mentioned will come upon the righteous as well as the wicked. how will it affect them? well i believe it will torment and burn those who reject the living word and insist in behaving wickedly while at the same time it will empower the righteous and they will cause a period of trouble the likes of the earth has never seen since there was a man on earth. those who reject it will be burned by it. and these are the ones who are eating of the tree of knowledge of good and evil. many have had similar life experience as myself some even more severe. we all have the choice which direction we will go. since we all are going to die. some will die in a manner which is shameful and deserving the curse of GOD and the rejection of mankind because they lived in a state of rage, unable in some cases to forgive what has happened to them. they blame this person or that person and either take their own lives of lash out and kill the innocent or others. well i could have been such a person but in spite of  the shameful way i was dealt with refused to go that direction. i have felt like doing it at times but always it was that i wanted to be the unsung hero. love therefore has saved me from a multitude of sins! i wanted to atone myself by coming to the rescue of innocent people who are being hurt by lying wicked spirits. this is why i defend the people of ISLAM. what crimes do they commit especially the children except to be another religion except CHRISTIAN. i will say boldly here and in plain ENGLISH that those who perpetrate violence against innocent people will suffer the violence due them. as the LIVING WORD is a sharp 2 edged sword! it cuts both ways!

as far as i can remember the bullying began when i was in third grade. two boys who did the most of it were EDDIE ROLF and LARRY REED. both boys were far bigger and stronger than i. i hope i have forgiven them for this however. as we all know our inner being and subconscious minds harbor within them at leas the memory of all of this terrorism which i was subjected to. both of them would not do this in the presence of others but would wait until they could catch me alone. or with some friends or in one case EDDIE would hold me down and let his sister wash my face with snow. i carried so much hate for them for years. later on me and EDDIE became good friends and hung out together but LARRY continued this bullying right on into my adult life. he and i both worked in the local shoe factory (DEXTER SHOE COMPANY). and he picked on me even then but from a distance. as i grew up to big as big and strong as he. so his bullying amounted to verbal abuse and getting others who worked there to give me a hard time. i am sure if he had of tried to physically attack me i would have killed him. and i am not talking of giving him a severe beating but actually killing him right there on the spot. this is how much resentment i had developed over the years. now a days i see this differently because i finally understood that GOD had allowed it to be. my father did not ever teach me any self defense because the beliefs of the church caused them not to allow us to not fight back. the scripture says that if anyone strikes us on one cheek to turn to them the other. i believe this idea is based on taking things out of the intended context. this is true also concerning the scripture which has JESUS saying put away your sword. because he who lives by the sword shall die by the sword. i do not believe this means that a young kid should be not taught how to defend himself and then left to the mercy of bigger kids at school. to put the scripture in the correct context here as i have said i will discuss falsehoods taught be CHRISTIAN churches actually gives place to the workings of SATAN who hates those who will walk upright. the same will test the faith of the faithful by heaping abuse on them...to see if they will retaliate. no where in scripture does it say that we are to stand idly by while oppression is perpetrated against the small and weak of this world. you see in the garden of GETHSEMANE where this happened, the man (some say it was ST. PETER) cut off the ear of the servant of the high priest. his intent was to force JESUS to set up an earthy kingdom and overthrow the ROMANS. perhaps he hoped that it would be done by means of miracles. because he was with him and saw the lame walk, the blind eyes opened, the deaf ears hearing etc. not only he saw things this way but all of the disciples saw it the same way. they expected JESUS to overthrow the ROMANS on the spot! first of all JESUS did not need their help. nor does GOD! and to draw a sword to overtake such a force would have certainly brought about the deaths of all involved. we all know the ROMANS were brutal bastards and would have loved to do it. the second point i will make is that to turn the other cheek is a test of faith. THIS HAS NOTHING TO DO WHATSOEVER WITH NOT ALLOWING KIDS TO STAND UP IN THE FACE OF BULLYING!!! SATAN used these false notions to keep the small on their knees where his servants can walk all over them knowing full well that they would be east pickings! so in spite of all of this bullying and my hating the perpetrators. i finally realized that they had taught me how th fight and fight well. i can imagine that i would really kick their ass today. for one thing i have moved on to martial arts training and have been certified to 7th degree black belt. i have them to thank for it. now i see that they did me a service for which i am truly grateful. GOD caused them to train me where my father did not. and made me ready for my destiny a soldier-saint of the LORD. i will explain exactly what this is later on.

so after being beaten unmercifully at home, there was church and it was about as harsh as home. the adults would set us kids on the seats in front of them. this is so we would be in easy reach where we could be slapped (in front of all present). and we were not allowed to move from those seats. not even to go to the toilette. i still remember kids peeing on the floor because they were not allowed to go to the toilette. i remember after sitting there for hours. this was usually from between the hours of 7:30 pm. to approximately 10:00 pm and even later in some cases. if they supposed that the "spirit" was moving it would end up going on sometimes until 1:00 in the morning. we would fidget and move about in our seats. while my sisters were tolerated somewhat. this was never allowed to me! i remember turning around in my seat to look to the rear of the church because someone had come in the door to see who it was. and i was promised a beating when i got home. and she my mother kept her promise! it was with a metal fly swatter. and i remember the sting of it on my bare legs as if it was today. i do not remember my sisters ever being beaten after coming home. most of the harshest treatment was reserved for me. my sisters were indulged while i was not. the usual treatment was that i would be forced to stay in my bedroom in the cold weather and forced to stay outside in summer weather. the neighboring kids would go and play ball across the street and most of the times mom would not allow me to go over with them. so i was forced to watch them play. i used to take refuge in the woods out back and pretend that i was a "great hunter of some INDIAN TRIBE". i remember that i spent a countless number of hours in the forest. this was my way of hiding from the school bullies. i will talk about this in the next post............ thanks for your time
 

2Th 2:1	¶	Now  we beseech you, brethren, by the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ, and [by] our gathering together  unto him,
	2Th 2:2		That ye be not soon shaken in mind, or be troubled , neither by spirit, nor by word, nor by letter as from us, as that the day  of Christ is at hand .
	2Th 2:3		Let  no man deceive you by  any means: for [that day shall not come], except there come a falling away first, and that man of sin be revealed , the son of perdition,
	2Th 2:4		Who opposeth and exalteth himself above all that is called God, or that is worshipped; so that he as God sitteth in the temple  of God, shewing himself that  he is God....................................(so here we have it as i have said in the last post all churches who think that they are the only ones right are not actually right and all churches are therefore part of this FALLING AWAY. this will go on right up to the last manifestation of the word----this event is recorded in REVELATIONS 11:1-13

it is important here to point out to you readers that i have forgiven my mother and father. if you was to hear their story, you would quickly see why they did things the way they did. i will not reveal any of their story only mine and the name i am writing under is an assumed name. it is part of my spiritual name AS I AM A CONVERTED TURBAN WEARING SIKH, a soldier-saint of the one true GOD. he is known by many call names and each one of them are hence only titles which describe the limited qualities of his we do know. of course no person knows all of GOD and even to call GOD "he" is not really correct. this happens because GOD IS REFERRED TO AS THE ETERNAL FATHER IN HEAVEN. male or female does not describe who GOD is. since GOD has created everything which exists, nothing of the created realm is him nor one of his qualities. in actuality GOD transcends all and is alone. there is none beside GOD. nor does GOD resemble anything GOD HAS CREATED. the name FULL GOSPEL MISSION i mentioned above in this story was a real place. now a days the name has been changed to THE APOSTOLIC FAITH TABERNACLE. they assume there that the experience they have in the church is the same one which the APOSTLES had on the day of PENTECOST. this is as false as a wax wedding ring. for one thing the scripture goes and i cannot remember exactly where is is at this time but anyhow it says that the wicked one would not be revealed until there first come a great falling away. this falling away will continue until the final outpouring which is the event recorded in REVELATIONS chapter 11. hence all church theology is imperfect and not the real truth. while there is some truth as they say that JESUS was the true messiah sent from GOD other things they say are not true. we will more then likely go into some of these untruths later on. all churches do have a small measure of truth but they are of the GREAT FALLING AWAY  ST. PAUL talks about. suffice it to say here for the moment that this story is not a story to rant and rave against my parents. but to lay the things -events of my life so that we can therefore learn by them.

i will tell the complete story of this girl later on. i remember when we lived on that old farm. i was very cold in the winter. it had an old wood furnace which sent smoke up into the house and i remember it would make my eyes burn so bad that i would run the the dirty clothes pile that mom had in her bedroom and rub them until the burning sensation went away. we were dirt poor and could nor afford the luxury of butter or margarine in those days. so we would put mayonnaise or some other condiment on our mash potatoes. as i said the beatings began about at that time. because the pastor of the church where we went would get up and brag about beating his kids with a rubber hose. and if you know how rubber sticks to the skin you probably could imaging just how that terrible form of corporal punishment felt to a small kid. DAD would use his belt and MOM would use a switch or the belt also as she didn't care what it was. it was cold in that drafty old house and i would wake up shivering because i didn't have sufficient blankets to keep me warm. so i would shake in the bed and the friction would warm me up. this was a problem because it would wake up my mother and she would come in the dark into the living room where i slept on the couch with a belt and commence to beating me. i would just lay there silent and take the pain and pretend to be asleep. i guess i reasoned that perhaps if she knew i was sleeping that she would take a little pity on me because being asleep i certainly couldn't help it. this didn't help it at all because the next night i would be cold again and out of habit and the necessity to get warm i would shake in the bed and get beaten again. sometime before this as i have said i had a dream that mom was chasing me and i was in the terror of my life. in the dream as i would try to open this door behind it was another door which was smaller. each time i would open the next door they were getting progressively smaller until the door was so small that i could only lay on my belly and peek through. not too long after is when she began to beat me and for any little infraction no matter what it was. from minor ones to major ones such as wetting to bed............

it was shocking for me to have such a night mare and it was years before i really understood what was happening to me. it turned out that i was frequented night mares when i was that young. the dream was about the pastor and his father-in-law who was also a member of the FULL GOSPEL MISSION. both he and the pastor were in a dark, hot place which resembled an underground cavern. the father of the pastor's wife was being chased around by the pastor who was burning him with this blow torch. i can still remember the blue flame which was coming out of it and i can remember the father-in-law's arms were burned off into stubbs. it seemed that every time he would stop and try to rest that the pastor would run upon him and start burning him more. i awoke in my crib there at the farm where we lived. it was out on a back road paved with gravel there in DEXTER. as i tell this story you will see the meaning of this frightful dream become apparent. as it involves child molestation and adultery. which ended up splitting our little church up. and hurt a lot of innocent people. because the pastor had cut a wide swathe through all of the teenaged girls he could get his hands on while the father-in-law although i never got the proof was involved in this too as there was pedophile activity going on there along with adultery and even homosexuality which eventually made me its unwilling victim.........right about that time the child beatings began to go on and became so severe that i thought i was going to be killed by my father. it was so harsh that for a couple of days my parents would not allow me to go to school. through all of this i began to develop compassion on the less fortunate than myself and got into some trouble over my defending a girl at school whom my mother called a little tramp.......more next time

i can imagine the man's surprise when DAD said to him, "i quit!" the man's son turned out to have more compassion than his father though because he told DAD, " ROBERT, when you are through visiting your new baby, you come back to work." (i will say here please be patient as i want to go over the whole story) as early as i can remember we went to THE FULL GOSPEL MISSION which was a small independent pentecostal church which met in a large room upstairs up over the town newspaper called the EASTERN GASETTE and it was so hot and humid up there that i would fidget and squirm in the seat and frequently my mother would take me to the restroom and spank my bare bottom. and it hurt. the church was pastored by a man and his wife. her father was also a member there. at this time i was awoken up in the night with a night mare. this chilling dream i can still remember as if it happened last evening. i was about 3 years of age at this time...........

as i said above i have a story to tell. it is a tale of trouble. as much trouble as a young kid could reasonably withstand. i do believe that all things come from GOD and not just good things but evil things as it says in the book of JOB chapter 2 verse 10. JOB says "shall we receive good at the hand of GOD, and shall we not receive evil"? the question is shall we stand up in the face of adversity? of shall our faith crumble? because when evil is sent our way we lose faith but we should remember that trials and tests are sent to build us up even as "bootcamp toughens the soldier"..........this story starts on the day of my birth MAY 1, 1958 at approximately 10:30 P.M. at MAYO MEMORIAL HOSPITAL in DOVER-FOXCROFT MAINE. i already had to fight even before i drew my first breath. the man my dad worked for was such an evil man that he refused to allow my father the day off so he could visit me and my mother in the hospital. dad had to quit his job!

i conclude here. your government lies about marijuana. because if we can access information about cannabis which tells us all about the healing effects of the blessed herb they certainly know about it too. this is a matter of control. they play god WITH US. and a bald faced liar such as the likes of them are immediately tells us (you and i) know full well that in spite of what is being said they are not GOD at all. SATAN is the father of all lies. and when an entity lies on a continuous basis we had not heed them but obey GOD.!!!!!!

And I will give [power] unto my two witnesses, and they shall prophesy a thousand two hundred [and] threescore days, clothed in sackcloth..................what is sack cloth? well the answer is probably going to be closer to a guess because nobody knows for sure what sack cloth actually is. so we will speculate here for the moment. the above verse states that the 2 witnesses testify while wearing such a cloth. 2 things come to mind here however, first when someone says sack cloth it conjures in the minds eye a garment which resembles a cloth bag which had holes cut in it for the head and arms. we see this type of garment being worn in MIDDLE EASTERN countries. and when in the ancient world a person is in mourning they discard normal clothing and assume the wearing of such a garment. we find this is so in the books of JOB and JONAH where it is said JOB  sat in ashes (normally setting in ashes was accompanied wearing a sack cloth) while the people of NINEVEH wore sackcloth and sat in ashes(JONAH 3:5). the wearing of such a garment spoke volumes in their days. it spoke that the person has given up all worldly pursuits and is in deep mourning. the second thing which comes to mind is that the sack in which the person wears be made of the coarsest type of fabric available. this was of course hemp cloth. which was in use in ancient times right up to the present day. today we call this cannabis which is the root word for canvas....

mid-14c., from Anglo-Fr. canevaz, from O.Fr. canevas, from V.L. *cannapaceus "made of hemp," from L. cannabis, from Gk.kannabis "hemp," a Scythian or Thracian word. Canvas-back as a type of N.Amer. duck is from 1785.....                                                                                                                                      .this canvas was in use during the ancient past and in the era where we used ships made of wood. all of the sails and rope employed on a ship was made from canvas. canvas the word comes from the word which designates cannabis and the word cannabis is the LATIN term for the herb we call nowadays marijuana!.........and when it says in the verse in REVELATIONS that the 2 witness testified wearing sackcloth it maybe true that what i am saying concerning the use of MARIJUANA is the correct definition. since marijuana has the ability to make the mental factor stable in spite of it being spun out of balance due to environmental toxins and evil influences etc.  

and this is why it is illegal. first of all the illegal status is a result of deep seated fears because friends and readers marijuana is illegal because of lies. SATAN knew that the time would come which we face today where everybody has gone crazy. this is obviously due to all of the constant barrage of poisonous chemicals and radiation which we are experiencing. the radiation is due to 2 reasons. 1) leakage and meltdown of nuclear reactors and 2) remote electronic devices such as cell phones, remote control gadgets which open and shut doors radio and television waves, high definition radiation and HAARP, radar and sonar, etc etc. all of this penetrates our bodies and passes through them leaving cancers and other genetically related diseases and so forth. SATAN has known for thousands of years that 2 groups of people will come forth to testify against the wicked system of the world unleashing upon it all the biblical plagues. it has been so foretold by the prophets ZECHARIAH, DANIEL, THE WRITER OF REVELATIONS, AND THE PROPHET MUHAMMAD AND THE MAYANS AND NOSTRADAMAS. the list goes on without end. he simply wants to eliminate this testimony. but we are right on the end of things and we are awake and refuse to sleep so a beautiful herb has been given to us from GOD himself to have for meat (to use in what we need it for) which not only establishes mental equilibrium but heals cancers and other diseases. these things have been proven to be so and there are films right on HULU which cover this subject. i advise you who are reading this blog to go on HULU and check it out for yourselves. why does this great red whore the global market and global elite persecute marijuana because it allows people to stand up and remain firm in the face of constant assault of the present wicked filthy dirty world. he does not like it so he manipulates those in power to assault the blessed herb causing those who use it to be subjected to social stigma.

what does this strange terminology mean to kill with death?! in my opinion it means to kill with deadly poisons and we all know that our environment is chock full of it on all levels and in all areas. this is why so many are losing sight of their equilibrium and taking drastic deadly measures. such as killing on a mass scale. we see this in shootings in schools and in just plain crazy acts now practically on a daily basis. they kill and in alot of cases kill the others they target then turn the guns upon themselves. or they stay drunk or on some doctor prescribed medication such as prozac which causes them to kill over nothing or petty reasons or other. and this brings me right up to the marijuana subject. there is only one reason it is so important because totally opposite to what is being said about the herb it gives mental equilibrium inspite of the constant barrage of toxins which have such a devistating on mankind. more next time and GOD BLESS

Rev 6:1	¶	And I saw when the Lamb  opened one of  the seals, and I heard, as it were the noise of thunder, one of the four beasts saying, Come and see .
	Rev 6:2		And I saw , and behold a white horse: and he that sat on him  had a bow; and a crown was given unto him: and he went forth conquering , and to conquer.
	Rev 6:3	¶	And when he had opened the second seal, I heard the second  beast say , Come and see .
	Rev 6:4		And there went out another horse[that was] red: and  [power] was given to him that sat thereon to take peace from the earth, and that they should kill one another: and there was given unto him a great sword.
	Rev 6:5	¶	And when he had opened the third seal, I heard the third beast say, Come and see . And I beheld , and lo a black horse; and he that sat on him had a pair of balances in his hand.
	Rev 6:6		And I heard a voice in the midst of the four beasts say , A measure of wheat for a penny, and three measures of barley for a penny; and [see] thou hurt not the oil and the wine.
	Rev 6:7	¶	And when he had opened the fourth seal, I heard the voice of the fourth beast say, Come and see .
	Rev 6:8		And I looked , and behold a pale horse: and his name that sat on him was Death, and Hell followed with him. And power was given unto them over the fourth part of the earth, to kill with sword, and with hunger, and with death, and with the beasts of the earth.
	Rev 6:9	¶	And when he had opened the fifth seal, I saw under the altar the souls of them that were slain for the word of God, and for the testimony which they held:
	Rev 6:10		And they cried with a loud voice, saying, How long, O Lord, holy and true, dost thou not judge and avenge our blood on them that dwell on the earth?
	Rev 6:11		And white robes were given unto every one of them; and it was said unto them, that they should rest  yet for a little season, until their fellow servants also and their brethren, that should be killed as they [were], should be fulfilled .
	Rev 6:12	¶	And I beheld when he had opened the sixth seal, and lo, there was a great earthquake; and the sun became black as sackcloth of hair, and the moon became as blood;
	Rev 6:13		And the stars of heaven fell unto the earth, even as a fig tree casteth her untimely figs, when she is shaken of a mighty wind.
	Rev 6:14		And the heaven departed as a scroll when it is rolled together; and every mountain and island were moved out of their places.
	Rev 6:15		And the kings of the earth, and the great men, and the rich men, and the chief captains, and the mighty men, and every bondman, and every free man, hid themselves in the dens and in the rocks of the mountains;
	Rev 6:16		And said to the mountains and rocks, Fall on us, and hide us from the face of him that sitteth on the throne, and from the wrath of the Lamb:
	Rev 6:17		For the great day of his wrath is come; and who shall be able to stand?*******

Rev 11:1	¶	And there was given me a reed like unto a rod: and the angel stood, saying, Rise, and measure the temple of God, and the altar, and them that worship therein.
	Rev 11:2		But the court which is without the temple leave out, and measure it not; for it is given unto the Gentiles: and the holy city shall they tread under foot forty[and] two months.
	Rev 11:3		And I will give [power] unto my two witnesses, and they shall prophesy a thousand two hundred [and] threescore days, clothed in sackcloth.
	Rev 11:4		These are the two olive trees, and the two candlesticks standing before the God of the earth.
	Rev 11:5		And if any man will hurt them, fire proceedeth out of their mouth, and devoureth their enemies: and if any man will hurt them, he must  in this manner be killed .
	Rev 11:6		These have power to shut heaven, that it rain not in the days of their prophecy: and have power over waters to turn them to blood, and to smite the earth with all plagues, as often as they will .
	Rev 11:7	¶	And when they shall have finished their testimony, the beast that ascendeth out of the bottomless pit shall make war against them, and  shall overcome them, and kill them.
	Rev 11:8		And their dead bodies [shall lie] in the street of the great city, which spiritually is called Sodom and Egypt, where also our Lord was crucified .
	Rev 11:9		And they of the people and kindreds and tongues and nations shall see their dead bodies three days and an half, and shall not suffer their dead bodies to be put in graves.
	Rev 11:10		And they that dwell upon the earth shall rejoice over them, and make merry, and shall send gifts one to another; because these two prophets tormented them that dwelt on the earth.
	Rev 11:11	¶	And after three days and an half the Spirit of life from God entered into them, and they stood upon their feet; and great fear fell upon them which saw them.
	Rev 11:12		And they heard a great voice from heaven saying unto them, Come up hither. And they ascended up to heaven in a cloud; and their enemies beheld them.
	Rev 11:13		And the same  hour  was there a great earthquake, and the tenth part of the city fell , and in the earthquake were slain of men seven thousand: and the remnant were affrighted, and gave glory to the God of heaven.
	Rev 11:14		The second woe is past ; [and], behold, the third woe cometh quickly.
	Rev 11:15	¶	And the seventh angel sounded; and there were great voices in heaven, saying, The kingdoms of this world are become  [the kingdoms] of our Lord, and of his Christ; and he shall reign for ever and ever.
	Rev 11:16		And the four and twenty elders, which sat before God on their seats, fell upon their faces, and worship God,
	Rev 11:17		Saying , We give thee thanks, O Lord God Almighty, which art , and wast , and art to come; because thou hast taken to thee thy great  power, and hast reigned .
	Rev 11:18		And the nations were angry , and thy wrath is come , and the time of the dead, that they should be judged , and that thou shouldest give reward unto thy servants the prophets, and to the saints, and them that fear thy name, small and great; and shouldest destroy them which destroy the earth.
	Rev 11:19	¶	And the temple of God was opened in heaven, and there was seen in his temple the ark of his testament: and there were lightnings, and voices, and thunderings, and an earthquake, and great hail.********************************************************************************************************so here are 2 chapters of the book of REVELATIONS and i should point out here that they represent the opposite sides of the very last days of the present civilization on earth. this is the final manifestation of the CAIN and ABEL story recorded in GENESIS chapter 4.  the two witnesses symbolize ABEL while the 4 horsemen symbolizes CAIN. we all know the story CAIN WAS A MURDERER WHILE ABEL WAS PLEASING TO HIS LORD. this is so that the case shall be fully established against the wicked and there be no room for argument. GOD'S justice is fulfilled and plenty of rope has been given in their trespasses. here is the break down. the first horse was seen as being white and as it is so written he goes forth conquering and to conquer (in the future). this represents the POWER OF WHITE COLONIALISM which was begun by the SPANISH. the next horse designates the color red. he was given a great sword and he had power to take peace from the earth. this began with the defeat of the SPANISH ARMADA by the BRITISH and the BRITISH EMPIRE. it represents the POWER OF TERRORISM. ALL TERRORISTS have been taught their grizzly craft by this. all of the modern world civilization have so been manipulated so. the next horse we see is black AND THIS REPRESENTS THE POWER OF EXPLOITATION. we have the exploitation of all things black. first slaves black people, opium, rubber, coal, diamonds(pure crystallized carbon), and lastly but certainly not least petroleum called black gold. the last horse is the power of secrets things invisible without the aid of a microscope, and things which are transparent in color. an odd use of words is used to describe the activities of this pale horse. it is written that he has the power*****to kill with death!!!

And when he had opened the fourth seal, I heard the voice of the fourth beast say, Come and see .
	Rev 6:8		And I looked , and behold a pale horse: and his name that sat on him was Death, and Hell followed with him. And power was given unto them over the fourth part of the earth, to kill with sword, and with hunger, and with death, and with the beasts of the earth.