WELCOME friends

if you are reading this blog and are in the UNITED PENTECOSTAL CHURCH. please start from the beginning. the little church i named THE FULL GOSPEL MISSION is now called the APOSTOLIC FAITH TABERNACLE. this place has been the home of a mind controlling cult for years even from the start. the pastors behaved as dictators. controlling the lives of the congregation, in every aspect. yet at the same time the very same pastors were committing the worse of acts. he was molesting the teenage girls and younger girls. also he was playing around with the older women of the church. the wife who was also pastor took dictatorial control of the church after he was eventually caught in his behavior. instead of the both of them being investigated, she was given full authority to rule over the men of the congregation. she has admitted to me personally that she refused to take care of his sexual needs and this i why he played around. certain UPC ministers came forth and advised her to divorce him. i believe the ulterior motive was that so eventually the UPC could take control of the whole place. in placing the woman in charge the it appears to me that all along the UPCI coveted the spot in DEXTER MAINE. today there is a UPCI minister in charge of the church who is the husband of her grandchild. this church has always been an independent church not owned by the UPC. but now it is under dictatorial control of him. they do nothing for the community of DEXTER in spite of the place being under the obligation of keeping itself as a mission. this was the agreement the former pastors had with those who signed it over. that the place would be kept as a mission. in years gone by certain prophecies were given which said that people would cry when they passed the place. well this prophecy has been fulfilled repeatedly. so many people have been injured by the nonsense that which has been taken place that they literally cry when the name FULL GOSPEL MISSION is mentioned. my own mother and father refuse to go to DEXTER now a days because of the horrible memories. i am making a case against the place GOD willing. because it is GOD'S purpose that this church be turned over to a group of charity which will function as a refuge to not only the town of DEXTER but to all surrounding towns as well. it is in the name of GOD and by the WORD OF GOD THAT THE LOCATION ON THE CORNER OF MAIN AND PLEASANT STREET BE RETURNED TO ITS STATUS OF BEING A MISSION, not under the control of a UPC minister.

THIS IS A REAL STORY

THE EVENTS AND HAPPENINGS I HAVE DESCRIBED IN THIS BLOG ARE TRUE. THEY ARE A SMALL AMOUNT OF THE THINGS I WENT THROUGH AS A CHILD UP TO THE PRESENT MOMENT. THEY JUST COVER THE EVENTS OF A FRACTION OF THE TOTAL STORY. IF I WAS TO MAKE THIS INTO A BOOK THERE WOULD BE VOLUMES NO DOUBT. PLEASE GO TO THE BEGINNING OF THE BLOG it will shock you perhaps but may the LORD GOD IN HEAVEN use this for the good of many. especially those little children living on the streets of the world.....may this mission reach the very precincts of the temple mount itself. may GOD increase the mission. thank you for your interest in the mission. WAHEGURU JI KA KHALSA. WAHEGURU JI KI FATEH. the pure ones belong to the LORD amd the LORD is always victorious.

without holiness no man shall see the LORD

 we are commanded to shun all abomination and stain - shameful acts done openly or in secret. we are commanded to separate ourselves from wicked behavior and to avoid filthy communications and to cover our bodies in moderate-modest dress lest we become a stumbling block causing others to think filthy thoughts or to lust after us. this is very important and then to bestow on those in need some of what GOD has blessed us with, both of monetary kind and of other material things. in doing so we hope and pray that our sacrifice please GOD. and it goes without saying, "I AM FOREVER A SACRIFICE TO THE CALLING OF GOD who has ordained that i am in this mission." thank you for your time and please pray for us here that we will increase in our loving GOD and our living for him each and every day. WAHEGURU JI KA KHALSA. (the pure ones belong to GOD). WAHE GURU JI KI FATEH, (and GOD is always victorious).

then by logical deduction

logically we can see what the spirit of anti-christ is. it is in the diametrical opposition. it is full of envy, pride, murder, stinginess and selfishness and all of these emotions are actually sub-emotions that is they stem from the emotion of FEAR, the fear of going without, this is what would instigate a person to maybe shoot at another or others who knock at his door for food, raiment and shelter. for JESUS said, "i was hungry and you did not feed me. i was naked and you did not offer me clothing, homeless and you did not give me shelter, sick and you did not attend my need, in prison and you did not visit me." when asked when anybody had ever seen him in such a state, he said, "what you did not do unto these the least of my little ones you did not do this unto me"....... it is the work of anti-christ to only think primarily of what is good for self over and beyond others at the expense of the poor and small and weak while it is CHRIST to look to and see to the needs of others, ie. the feeding, sheltering and clothing the naked- further more the attention given to attend to the fatherless in these matters and the widows as well. this is the pure religion that JESUS who was called CHRIST delivered unto the saints. see to the maintainence of  those within your community and see to the same for those who are without, who are not CHRISTIAN like you or not MUSLIM as you are, and just as importantly no matter what you claim as your religion, to keep yourself unspotted from this old wicked world!!!

what is CHRIST? or......who is CHRIST?

IF I AM SAYING THAT THE JEWISH PROGRAM IS ANTI-CHRIST, i must have a good reason for saying so. i am hoping to demonstrate the true context of WHAT JESUS WAS and who JESUS is today. he has been as tradition and scripture says taken up to sit at the right hand of GOD. the QURAN also says a thing similar. as it refers to the moment of being crucified he was taken up. and since the both books say this we can be sure JESUS was taken into the heaven of GOD. that is he entered in on the right. he has opened the way for all who will believe and obey his teachings will also enter in on the right as well as he did. but this calls not only for hearers of the word, but doers of the word. this means to live out lives in the way of love, and generosity and compassion, and kindness, and purity and in constant remembrance of the LORD. being merciful and forgiving and sober and prayerful....................this is the way of that humble carpenter who was the MESSIAH. he not only taught this but he lived it throughout his life here on earth.................it is very possible that technically speaking JESUS was not a JEW (descendant of JUDAH) but was a LEVITE........but before i go into that i will ask the question what did JESUS say when he revealed what he was? answer he said i am the bread of heaven. what exactly does that statement mean? it is understood by another statement JESUS made to satan when satan came to tempt him. said satan, "if thou be the son of GOD then command these stones to be made bread." JESUS replies, "man shall not live by bread alone but every word which proceedeth fourth from GOD.".......JESUS COULD SAY THIS BECAUSE HE WAS THE LIVING WORD OF GOD INCARNATE. he was the human form of GOD'S word. and note here you heard it from me. the QURAN also says he was a word from ALLAH sent here to fulfill and confirm the law which came before him. this means that JESUS lived breathed acted in a true right manner and speech, who was self sacrificing and righteous & kind while in the constant rememberance of the LORD. all who follow his pathway are commanded to take up their own cross and follow. bread of heaven was the word of GOD. JESUS invites all who follow him to participate in the marriage of the LAMB what is this? it is the fusion of the living word of GOD with the human heart. when that man or woman fully loses their own self and take on the identity of JESUS his / her name becomes WORD OF GOD. the word is the CHRIST which comes forth to annoint us. in this way JESUS who has gone on to his reward into GOD'S glory is with us WE ALL ARE THE WORD AND HE HAS GIVEN US THE POWER TO BE SONS AND DAUGHTERS OF GOD. 

BUT WHY DO I SAY THE JEWISH PROGRAM IS ANTI-CHRIST?

now i get to the reality. we are going to use those verses which have JESUS speaking in the 1st person. but before we begin here will be a rule of reference. all NEW TESTAMENT scripture must be interpreted in this way. no scripture could be said or shown to contradict his sayings. if it appears to so, then it is the duty of a true scholar of scripture to reconcile all NEW TESTAMENT with what it is said JESUS directly taught. scripture must be understood along these lines that first the person must always when in doubt refer to the direct teachings in order to understand the true meaning. 

the kibbitz

it is a variation of the communist political system. i will not go into too much detail. but i will comment here that AN ISRAEL WHO puts herself in harms way trying to build communities who do not share of their substance with those strangers who may happen to knock at their door or live there abouts the place going without food sustainence and shelter whether they are PALESTINIAN ARABS or other is definitely not in the will of GOD. if you have too shoot at people outside of your door it seems that GOD has not given you the blessing of peace and security, then you are way out of place. JESUS came confirming the law and the prophets and when people live his way brings GOD'S blessings which are the benefits of peace and safety. this is so because he teaches to share with others and ruling by example instead of dictating. this causes people to love you and to stand up for your interests in your absence. while selfishness and haughtiness and an uppity attitude gets people to hate you and causes them to turn on you and commit treacherous acts behind you. the MESSIAH dwelt amongst you and walked your streets teaching you the tennets to LOVE YOUR GOD WITH ALL OF YOUR BEING AND TO LOVE YOUR NEIGHBOR AS YOURSELF. but you would have nothing to do with it. and you delivered him up to be executed and the very same hour, took up with one who comes in his own name you asked for the release of a murderer and delivered the MESSIAH up to his killers who were not only the ROMANS but also the established SADDUCEE controlled priesthood. BARRABBUS is a not a name in the proper sense but it is a word which means, "son of the rabbi." this SEMITIC word RABB means sustainer and giver of life. and it is the same word whether it is ARABIC or HEBREW, it is not a word which even remotely can be used to refer to a human being. but it specifically refers to GOD alone SINCE IT IS HE ALONE WHO SUSTAINS AND GIVES LIFE. i doubt that any person who mistakenly refers to self as RABBI could sustain the life of one small fly let alone himself or any other. and it does not work at all to sit there and say things like we did not do this but those in the past did. and we are not guilty. well the TALMUD which most JEWS carry around boldly states these enormities---that JESUS was a bastard son of an unchaste women. it is a wholesale rejection across the whole of the JEWISH community which carries with it the weight of the bad harvest of corruption and as long as they stubbornly flout GOD and his messenger through this shameful body of JEWISH literature, all of them except those who embrace either CHRISTIANITY or ISLAM are and will be in the future, on the outside looking in. at the wailing wall they will stand and cry but will not be heard!!!!! HE WHO STOPS HIS EAR TO THE CRY OF THE POOR SHALL TOO CRY AND NOT BE HEARD.

THOUGH THERE ARE THOSE WHO REBEL, NOT ALL DO.

it is not the whole of the JEWISH community who are participating in this treachery nor are all pastors are aiding and abetting their enemy the ones who curse and scandalize JESUS and his mother MARY. as it is written (i do not have the exact place before me)there was a field which was planted with good seed but later on tares began to grow up in the midst of the good wheat and the owner of that particular field observed this phenomena. "whence cometh the tares???" he asked. i thought i planted the good seed. an enemy has done this was the final conclusion. his servants volunteered to go and uproot the tares but the master stayed their hand saying not so lest ye also uproot the good wheat with the tares. in the harvest i will instruct the reapers to gather the wheat in my barns but the tares shall be burned with unquenchable fire. the field is the world- ie. the religious communities who all have heard from GOD one time or another. it does not matter the label we attach to ourselves or to others the communities split along 2 natural boundaries those who are obedient to GOD and those who are not. this is the same for those who call themselves CHRISTIAN or JEWISH. some are true and obey GOD'S word while the rest are only serving the god of their own desires. the seed is the word of GOD while the tares are the words of SATAN. he wants people to destroy each other. it is he who wants people to be greedy and selfish etc. while it is one thing to be selfish of what you earn it is a futile act to be selfish to a thing which does not belong to you. and the temple mount site in JERUSALEM, belongs to no person but GOD........(still on the topic of kibbutz please be patient as it will take some time)

THE DESOLATION

UMAR BIN KATTAB was typical of MUSLIM leaders. he had humility and knew his place in GOD'S world. the great KHALIF who dressed in poor cloths made of wool and did not display the pompous pride of world the world rulers of his day began to fill the skirt of his own clothing with refuse that was laying around on the former temple mount and began to dump it over the side. little by little he and his men worked until they completely had cleaned the whole of the temple mount and sanctified it to the worship of the only one GOD who is called ALLAH in the ARABIC language which is linguistically similar to the HEBREW word ELOHIM. *note the SEMITIC name for GOD is actually a combination of 2 words. AL or EL and LAH or in HEBREW- LOIH. i will say that before people open their mouths saying things like the ARABS worship a false god they should do a study of SEMITIC languages because both forms of the word whether ARABIC or HEBREW are identical AL-LAH OR EL-LOIHIM connote the meaning "THE GOD" now back to the point i am making. MUSLIMS did not steal the temple mount at all. they found it completely desolate of any form of worship and the JEWS were gone for centuries from that place. actually it does not belong to the JEWS nor does it belong to ARABS but it belongs to GOD to do with what he wills for it. any JEW who comes along insinuating that it was stolen by the MUSLIMS has an evil spirit within. this is the case for this group who call themselves "THE TEMPLE MOUNT FAITHFUL" i have seen videos produced by them and their spokesman GERSHWIN SOLOMON. they do nothing but lie and they say that those awful MUSLIMS have stolen the temple mount and he- GERSHWIN SOLOMON calls for the MUSLIMS to be ejected by force!!!. this man is a liar and has in him the spirit of anti-christ. the whole JEWISH program is so. including the kibbitz program. it is all the complete rejection of CHRIST and because of that shameful policy this means the stirring up of ARMAGEDDON. he the RABBI and he the pastor who both work together are instigating war. (please read REVELATIONS 16:13-17)

THE NAKED TRUTH

also i am getting side tracked. since it is my interest to see to it that the innocent are protected against violent oppression. i want to get to the real root of what is going on in the world today. the ISLAMIC community has found themselves being chased by the hunting hounds of the western powers. the MUSLIMS are the little foxes while BRITAIN and the U.S.A. are hunting them down to exterminate. why is this condition prevailing? in my opinion it stems from the JEWISH rejection of JESUS CHRIST the only true messiah from GOD and consequently the only one he will send to mankind. their wholesale rejection of him is really at the root of the problem. and the only people the old testament constantly call a whore is ISRAEL. yet they have the audacity to label a young virgin an unchaste women which is the same as now a days some one calling a women a slut. they call her a slut and label her son a bastard!!!!! the TALMUD which is a body of JEWISH commentaries on the TORAH proclaim such enormities..... in complete blasphemy they deny the omnipotence of GOD saying it is impossible for him to cause a virgin to give birth forgetting that GOD created mankind right from the dust of the ground and then took a rib from ADAM and making him a mate from that rib. JEWS will readily admit that GOD has the power to do so. they will not accept his power to create a son within her womb! they scandalize her and her son while MUSLIMS accept JESUS as the messiah and GOD in his grace has given them complete custodianship of his mountain of ZION in JERUSALEM. CERTAIN JEWS spread rumors that the ISLAMIC community has stolen the site from them by force. when nothing could be further from the truth. they were ejected from the temple mount by force of the ROMAN army. and subsequently the temple site stood empty for over 600 years. so that when the 2nd successor after the prophet MUHAMMAD, UMAR BIN KATTAB triumphantly rode into JERUSALEM he found the temple site in a sad state of affairs. it had been converted into a garbage dump and a place to dump animal dung..........  

ANTI SEMITISM

before i go into why i believe the kibbitz program is anti-christ, i want to point out that this sketchy term anti-semitism does not mean what those who conveniently use it are saying. they use the term to skirt around the truth. and it has come to connote any person who says anything about JEWS whether what they are doing is right or wrong. some may say i am stepping out on a limb. but the truth is that GOD is far bigger than them. and the truth is the truth no matter the source. this is an intricate matter and it requires some considerable background information to put it into the proper context. fact number1- JEWISH people are not the only SEMITIC people who live on this planet. an anti-semite would be a person who is anti all SEMITIC people. there is a list of definites (those we definitely know are SEMITIC) and a list of those who are probably a combination of SEMITIC and Caucasian such as IRANIANS who have their descent from the old PERSIAN empire. generally speaking SEMITES are concentrated in 2 main camps ISRAELITE and ARABIC. how closely related the 2 groups are to the KURDISH tribes is an unknown. i speculate that the KURDS are descended from the children of ABRAHAM through his wife after SARAH (please read GENESIS chapter 25). scripture records that ABRAHAM gave them gifts and sent them back towards the EAST. and the subsequent generations eventually became the tribes we call the KURDS. i speculate they are SEMITIC because of their practice of male circumcision which has been practiced by them since ancient times. now a days KURDS are MUSLIMS but they circumcised before the advent of the religion of ISLAM. of course there is another possibility the KURDS are ISRAELITE and are descendants of the northern kingdom of ISRAEL who were taken into exile in the ASSYRIAN EMPIRE, hence dispersed into the nations. what i am doing here is speculating......more next time

MARY MAGDALENE

 the MARY MAGDALENE of my life was little MARY HAMM and others like her. i am friends with people who have been rejected by this evil adulterous generation. there is a very big gap between those who happen to step on the small so severely that they have to resort to prostitution because of their poverty and those who are under oppression, the weak and small of this world,  those who would hurt them should remember there is no veil between GOD and the oppressed. it is a privilege to suffer as my master and brother JESUS CHRIST did. for a long time i did not understand this but now i can see it. what happened was because of fear. and a mother who was more severely abused than i was. i weep for her. i weep for all those who are same as LITTLE MARY. that are forced to sleep under bridges all across this land. i have seen them. hurricane victims in FLORIDA and THE GULF COAST are amongst this. my heart cries for them. i have slept with them. they are kicked aside and forgotten but the worse thing is that it is beyond the control of man to stop winds of such force. so it is most unfair that they are treated as bums and criminals.

now i just offer to them the WHIP.

i wondered why in past times why it was that i was always being nailed to the cross. it is my own cross and there have been many who have nailed me to it. the scripture says so. JESUS SAID TO THEM WHO WERE THE ESTABLISHED RELIGION OF HIS DAY. whores will go in before you. and SODOM AND GOMORRAH WILL STAND AND TESTIFY AGAINST THIS GENERATION. so it is no wonder that they persecuted him even executed him. now a days when this is about to happen to me, i just offer the whip and bare my back.

THE BEATING

i will say from the start that i will talk about the program of the anti-christ. he has many faces. but before i go into that i want to speak more about little MARY HAMM. she was a girl i went to school with. and yes i thought she was cute. she was actually the girlfriend  of LARRY REED who had bullied me. he had other things and other classmates to pick on and he mostly left me alone except when he caught me alone. as i said i spent a large portion of my time alone and in the woods. to avoid contact with bigger kids who used to pound me up. we all were singing at this music concert so my mother and sisters and i were there. i saw MARY standing there and i said, "hello MARY." my mother waited until on the way home and we had other kids in the car with us and began to get after me calling her a little tramp and for me to never ever speak to her again. i defended her and mom cried to my father and then went away somewhere i do not know. dad came in and dragged me out of the bed waking me up and began to beat me saying the next time i had anything to do with a "little girl" it was going to be worse. he beat me so hard for about 20 minutes or longer that i broke some of my toys running to try to get away. DAD blacks out when he gets mad. he has done this to my sister where he literally broke down the door she was behind and beat her up because she got pregnant with an older man. and she was going to leave. any how he was beating me with the buckle end of the belt and it left prints which were shaped by the buckle all up and down my torso and legs. there was a bloody outline around the prints. it was so bad that they kept me out of school. what does this have to do with the anti-christ? i would say that anti-christ spirit is at work in the world and he hates CHRIST. JESUS CHRIST was said to have consorted with prostitutes. we know this was a lie spread by his enemies. the messiah was their friend and he healed them and their sins were forgiven them. not only had i taken the position of defending a girl my mother assumed was a little whore but i also took the stripes on my body for her. 

the power of self sacrifice

JESUS says if you will follow me then deny yourself and take up your cross. this means your desires and motivations for worldly gain and material wealth even up to your physical life if need be. this is what called me into the SIKH religion. SIKHS do this on a daily basis. this is exactly what our GURU - TEGH BAHADUR did. he was the 9th of 10 living gurus in the religion. it was well known that the SIKH soldier - saints spent their time rescuing the innocent. and it also included members of other religions. whether it was innocent MUSLIMS or innocent HINDUS did not make a difference. our first guru, GURU NANAK preached that there was no HINDU nor was there MUSLIMS but each and all were simply children of GOD. these lines of division are man made and hence artificial. the story goes that a group of HINDU BRAHMANS approached the guru complaining that the MOGULS were threatening rape and oppression of their women amongst other sanctions if they did not convert to their twisted and false brand of ISLAM. the BRAHMAN priests did not want to convert. so the guru told them to go to the emperor's court and report that if they could convert him then they would also convert. well he was arrested and tortured in a number of ways and did not budge. so they decapitated him. he gave his life to defend people of another religion even though SIKHS do not believe in HINDUISM. my stance is slightly different. i do believe in the religion of ISLAM- the original religion taught and lived by the prophet MUHAMMAD. this was not the religion the MOGULS were practicing and being a SIKH gives me religious grounds to defend innocent MUSLIMS. i do not say all MUSLIMS are innocent. i do not defend terrorists nor terrorism. but i defend those who are not making trouble and are simply living out their lives in mostly dire poverty and are classed into the number of the meek in the earth who happen to worship GOD in the manner handed down to them. that is they want to simply be left alone to live their lives in the way handed down to them and they want to live productive lives and watch their children grow up and reproduce grand babies. also these want to attend regular prayers 5 times a day in the mosques. those who try to block the way of such poor people are against THE CREATOR and are numbered in the class of oppressors in GOD'S court and it is GOD who will deal with them. I DO NOT FOR ANY REASON BELIEVE THAT JESUS IS AGAINST THIS!!!!! he brought the good news to the woman at JACOB'S well who was a woman of SAMARIA a SAMARITAN who were considered dogs amongst the JEWS of his day and it was unlawful to speak with one. JESUS demonstrates that the good news of the kingdom and the living water sent down from GOD is available to all even to those who are practicing different rituals and of an obviously different religion as was the case with the SAMARITANS. he stated to her that the time will come when mankind will worship GOD in spirit and truth. this is to love him-GOD with all of your being and to love your neighbor as yourself! and who is your neighbor? why it is a member of another religion besides your own. it is written that a man fell among thieves and was lying there in the ditch naked and wounded. along comes 2 members of the established religion in ISRAEL a priest and a LEVITE which both passed by on the opposite side of the road fearing to be defiled by the man. but along comes a good SAMARITAN who has compassion on the man and took him up on his donkey binding up his wounds. not only did he perform this but he also payed for the man to have a room in the inn and told the keepers if there was additional debt accumulation that he would pay when he passed by there again. this man was a true neighbor. here i will comment on this evil KIBBUTZ program JEWS are participating in today. it is of the ANTI-CHRIST and GOD is not pleased with them even as i speak. i will cover this evil in the next post INSHALLAH (if God wills it)

TREES AND MORE TREES

i will take the opportunity to speak about the mission here to which my feet have been directed. the first word which comes to my mind is OZONE. they keep talking about those supposed holes in the OZONE layer. it is also said on top of that, that the OZONE filters out certain harmful rays which emanate from the sun. as early as the late 70's scientists have been sending out the alarm. the biggest hole was seen over the polar regions. let us take a place which is similar now to the arctic regions but the "polar" opposite in the fact that it is very warm there whereas the ice regions are frozen 3/4 of the year. the place i am talking about is the POOR AND IMPOVERISHED COUNTRY OF HAITI!!! look there on Google satellite and see that there are absolutely no trees! this is why i theorize that the hole in the OZONE layer over the south pole is a naturally occurring phenomena, whereas the hole situated over HAITI is an unnatural thing. (this is pure speculation which i hope will fire somebody's interest and  they will have to go and check to see if what i am saying is correct.) OZONE is a pollutant but not really. this is true when it is out of it's place because it is when it mixes with the troposphere where we live it is poison. but when it stays above us in the layer GOD set it in it works its wonders. OZONE must be therefore lighter than regular OXYGEN. i do not believe that there is much significant wind up there. the wind is confined by the jet stream. so to speculate let's suppose that OZONE sits there over the area of the globe from whence it rises. this must be the same for the layer over the desert places as well. the OZONE must be thinner there as well. the common denominator here is the fact that there are absolutely no trees there either. both HAITI and the antarctic continent are devoid of the OZONE manufacturing center on the whole of the globe TREES TREES TREES !!!!! where are they who are so proud of their expertise????!! for example the GERMANS pride themselves in forest management and  they are very rich. i would think that to go to HAITI and develop some kind of forest restoration programs for those poor people, would atone them for the AWFUL CRIMES OF THE NAZI regime. would not GOD give them release if they would do his work? nobody is beyond redemption if they do things GOD'S way except one class of people. those who blaspheme the HOLY SPIRIT. that is that they say, "that JESUS CHRIST is not sent from GOD" . OF COURSE now we all know that the GERMANS alive now are not the ones who firsthand committed this holocaust. and i will also say a lot of people besides GERMANS have done likewise. let's not forget the holocaust of the NATIVE AMERICANS. all of us have a lot to answer for. it is not good when people get on top of others to force them into line while committing their own similar crimes and in some cases worse. it is more than the GERMANS who have been in the past completely horrible. the real point is here that all of us who are awakened take a hand in the repairing of this planet. was we not given this job from the start in the GARDEN OF EDEN?????

we have an example in the bible where GOD supplied food where there seemingly was no way. ELIJAH the prophet was sent to stay by the brook CHERITH where he was fed by the ravens. and then after the brook dried up he was sent to the house where a widow lived with her son. the prophet told her to give him a little drink of water and to bake him a little cake. she said to him that this was all she had, a small amount of meal in the bottom of a barrel and some minute amount of oil in a cruise. that she was going to make their last (her and her son) meal and then starve to death. the prophet said do as you say but first make for me. the word of the LORD says that the barrel shall not go empty nor shall the oil run dry until the famine across the land was over. it  was recorded that this sustained them for many days. WE MUST LIVE ON FAITH. EVEN AS THE PROPHET DID. THIS IS GOD'S WAY.

back in the day when i was wandering around the globe, i frequently stated that i wished i had of been born dead and never saw the light of day at all. now that i can see my destiny and the ministry i have been put on. i am grateful to the ETERNAL FATHER for allowing me to be born in these times where the beast is rising to take control of the whole world. this will be a brief intense moment. it will be marked by the appearance of supernatural phenomena and supernatural beings both of the ANGELIC kind and the DAEMONIC kind. these will war each other. the DEVIL who is behind this sinister scheme wishes to eliminate the voice of the righteous soldier-saints. as i have written earlier in this story those who use marijuana are doing it because GOD wills it. the ambition of the NEW WORLD ORDER is to instigate the complete dumbing down of the worlds human population. the sports and entertainment business is deliberately doing this as i write. every where one goes, it is easy to hear people discuss the latest games and the biggest heroes. it is as if this is the only goal people have in life to be amused and not to take anything too seriously except the things the diabolical culture we live in wishes for them to take serious. it has been always so. drink alcohol and be ready to be instigated but never ever use marijuana. if you drink alcohol which will damage you in a number of ways this is socially acceptable but if you will keep vigilant by staying spiritually and mentally awake using the various herbs and mushrooms which are by designed by our creator to produce an awakened state you are classed as a criminal. the testimony comes from the final form of the word of GOD sent down. this is the event REVELATIONS records in chapter 11, the testimony of the 2 witnesses. do not listen to the attempts of this culture to denude you of the right to utilize natures plants for medicines and mental stabilizers. while they make people prove to them that they are not using nature so that they can find a job through the requirement of urine and blood tests designed to search for those who are using marijuana. this fear of not being allowed to work if your  body system shows you use herbs causes people to give up their connection with the natural realm and replace it with the artificial products of poisonous petroleum. people get swept away by the tide of falsehood and become brainwashed by this to do the bidding of SATAN. take no though to what you will eat nor what you will wear. for GOD hath already known what is you require to sustain life. he is able to sustain you regardless of what they do against you.

now of course to call someone a hypocrite is harsh. but i do not mean to put someone down but to cause them to awaken. to be at peace with GOD means to have absolutely no fear of another no matter what or great they seem to be. we should stand up for what we believe and not cave to pressure to embrace something unless it is in our heart to do so. truth is higher but still higher is truthful living. GOD is on the throne and whatever it is which comes our way it his sweet will.

in times when there is rampant oppression across the land, it is not usually the poor and small who are innocent who pursue the policy. no it is those in power who do this. all communities are therefore guilty. we have those who are the responsible ones who are marked as beasts in their foreheads. in their foreheads it is written oppressor, unbeliever, murderer etc  these are the ones who bear the mark of the beast in their foreheads. they are kings, presidents, CEOs of corporations religious leaders (such as some of the POPES etc.) generals and other military officers. then there are those who cooperate-collaborate with those in charge. these are they who bear the mark of the beast in their right hands. their hands be swift to shed innocent blood. on them is the mark of CAIN who distinguished himself as the first who committed murder as he killed just not any random person but his own brother! so all religious communities have within them those who stand true for GOD. their behavior is marked with self sacrifice. while the other type is bigoted and commits acts of terrorism. they are therefore marked with a selfish, pompous pride which says me and the things i want over the needs of the lesser well off. ISLAM is no different as it has had oppressive leaders who have been guilty of forcing others to their particular brand of ISLAM which is not the ISLAM taught and followed in its original context which was taught, believed and lived according to by the early MUSLIMS. these MUSLIMS were marked with charity and humility. not so with some however and the foremost example of this tragic scene is the policy of the MOGULS who were kings in INDIA who had the notion to force others into their twisted brand ISLAM. they did this and forgot that the true ISLAM is a thing of the heart. no man can surrender the heart of another to GOD. even by force it will not succeed. as when the same ones are left be. they automatically revert to their old ways of living. the QURAN says in AL-BAQARAH 256---" there is no compulsion in religion because the truth stands out clear from error". the BLESSED PROPHET MAY GOD GIVE HIM PEACE AND BLESSINGS did not ever force others to convert. one shining example is the time when an unbeliever who had participated in a war against the MUSLIM community was about to be killed, converted by testifying that MUHAMMAD was indeed the messenger and APOSTLE of ALLAH and that there is only one GOD worthy to be worshipped (ALLAH). the MUSLIM soldier killed him anyway assuming he had testified only to save his skin. when the RASULLULAH (MUHAMMAD) heard about this he kept repeating over and over again, "did you look into the man's heart?" this was to the point that the soldier was embarrassed by his behavior. now this does not sound as though MUHAMMAD ever forced anybody. forced conversions were later and in the time when the MOGULS ruled INDIA they assumed they were supposed to force all of their subjects to convert. forgetting one important point. no person can be forced to convert. if you do not surrender on your own, GOD aint gonna force you. the point is that SATAN'S argument could stand that GOD creates people and forces them like robots to do his bidding. well if it is not your choice to submit your will to the will of GOD and you made some show that you had while actually you hadn't, this would make you a hypocrite!

i had promised above that i would speak about GURU TEGH BAHADUR. as you know i converted to the SIKH religion and my mission is to help as many people i can. this is especially true in my intentions concerning MUSLIMS who happen to be innocent of the scathing accusations which have been leveled against them. that all of them are ranting raving fanatics who commit terrorism against innocent CHRISTIANS. this is simply a lie. not all MUSLIMS are so. in fact the majority of the adherents of ISLAM are GOD fearing, hospitable, accommodating, and charitable. let us begin where the lies were first spread. those lies resulted in the needless deaths of not only MUSLIMS but also JEWISH people and CHRISTIANS who were not under the thumbs of the VATICAN. everybody has heard of the CRUSADES which were responsible for countless deaths of a whole bunch of innocent people. the so called CHRISTIANS who carried out these grievous "holy wars" killed other CHRISTIANS whether GREEK ORTHODOX or ARMENIAN CHRISTIANS simply because they were aligned to spiritual leaders other then the pope of ROME. 10,000 innocent MUSLIMS who had taken refuge at the DOME OF THE ROCK were put to the sword which gave the temple mount a blood bath which later on CHRISTIAN soldiers boasted that the blood ran out of the DOME OF THE ROCK knee high to the horses. pregnant mothers had their bellies ripped open and the babies cut out of them and trampled by the horses. little babies were taken by the heels and had their brains bashed out against the stone facade of the DOME OF THE ROCK. these crimes are just a small part of the atrocities committed by men who believed they were doing GOD a service. we also might as well speak about the SPANISH INQUISITION as well as when the SPANIARDS drove the MOORS from SPAIN they treated them in a very dirty way. i will say this that GOD has seen all of it and GOD will recompense the perpetrators the full punishments their deeds merit them. we see the shameful deeds of so called CHRISTIANS who in their lust for material wealth are willing to kill others and steal it from them. also in another part of the world there were SO CALLED MUSLIMS who forced themselves on the population of INDIA who happened to be HINDU. we will talk about this. all people on any side who slaughter the innocent shall be in turn be slaughtered in a like manner. this is what the fabled battle of ARMAGEDDON is all about. it is a battle where those who will kill over oil and other riches can go and participate in a mutual annihilation. and this looms ominously on the horizon!!! since they shed innocent blood, blood will be given for them to drink, their own!!!

i do not know how much more of my story i should tell. obviously there is much more. but how much is needed to convey to you the readers that i have seen trouble since the day i came into the world. and praise GOD i did not fall off the brink of the pit. as many of my friends are now gone. and many more people fell and committed things of horror against their fellow human beings. there are serial killers who have been put to death simply because they allowed hatred to rule them and feelings of revenge lurked in their hearts and this caused them to go off to kill again and again. I PRAISE THE ETERNAL FATHER that he spared me this fate. as i could have very well ended up the same way. but instead here i sit as a leader of this mission, THE ISRAEL OF GOD INTERNATIONAL HOUSE OF PRAYER as a soldier-saint of GOD. over the next few posts i want to outline the mission i am on. as i have stated that this story is an appeal to you and if you have the mind to do so you could help me on this mission either the monetary kind of help or actually getting your fingers dirty. HAITI needs a reforestation program. it is appalling to see the whole country which has been stripped bare from its original tree cover. this makes the people wander into the DOMINICAN REPUBLIC where they hope they can find shelter and food. we want them to be at home and to a forest which is healthy and sustaining of living. JESUS said to his disciples' "i was hungry and you did not feed me." i do not wish this to be announced to myself when i stand before the LORD. thanks for reading

i heard that my friend PERCY was dying so i thought i would go there to visit him. he and i smoked many a joint together and drank many a beer. why i am confessing these things to you the readers is because i want you to see that they were always like family to me. i both rented a room from PERCY'S and spent countless hours there before and after. his mother whom i will not name as i still have respect for her even though she kicked me out. she is like a mother figure to me. she said i do not want you around here. you have renounced your country. you make me nervous. so i politely left the premises. later on i saw her at the SHOP AND SAVE and i said GOD BLESS YOU as i was passing. not slowing down to let her see it was me. she heard me alright because she said GOD BLESS YOU right back. hey i will take that blessing as if it was from my own mother. and i bear her no ill will at all. she is a victim of a bunch of twisted distorted malicious gossip which was circulating. all of that family stuff? that vanished as of course this was before i took my stand that i believe the religion of ISLAM is from GOD and he sent this revelation to ANOTHER TRIBE to be used as a witness that JESUS is the true messiah. ALL MUSLIMS BELIEVE THIS AND FURTHER MORE THEY ALSO BELIEVE THAT JESUS WAS BORN OF THE VIRGIN MARY!!!!!.....no no no before this i was family but afterwards treated as if i was the enemy. can you imagine the reactions i got from people as i told these things to them? especially when i began to say that this alone makes ISLAM qualify..........so i became a SIKH a soldier - saint to make it my religious duty to stand up for the rights of the small and the weak and the innocent. may therefore those who render violence on others get swift retribution from the LORD. and it does not matter one iota whether it is JEW, CHRISTIAN, OR MUSLIM....if he/she does right will not the LORD reward him? and if he does evil, will he not reap that which he had sown?.......my attitude is and what motivates me is the constant vision i had stuck in my head of those poor little kids there who are orphaned in DUMAI- INDONESIA. i had grown to love a whole lot of MUSLIM people as i have known and still love my CHRISTIAN friends. i did not want either side to hurt each other and hoped they would get along. i guess this is a tall order. SATAN has his greedy hands of the hearts and minds of many on both sides and he is hell bent to get them to go off to war to mutually exterminate each other. well have at it folks. looks like to me that somebody has to stick around to see to it that the innocent don't get caught in the cross fire. who will it be who will make it through to inherit the earth well as my JEHOVAH'S WITNESS brothers keep harping on it will be the MEEK......GOD'S LITTLE LAMB. therefore it is a joy for this RAM DAS NIHANG SINGH this lion of GOD to lay myself down at the door of the fold...............

to further complicate things, i had taken my stand even up to the adopting and wearing traditional MUSLIM clothing. this got some attention where ever i went. people shrunk away in fear. so i went on a campaign to set the truth strait i would give away copies of the HOLY QURAN to who ever wanted one. and i was explaining the real ISLAM to counter act the falsehoods which were circulating about it. i was systematically ejected from more then one church and persecuted by my own father and mother. there was some intrigue going on in their church. the old pastor allowed me to pray in ISLAM right in the church prayer room. but when they hired a new pastor i could tell right away that he had a bad spirit and my father wasted no time telling me that ISLAMIC prayer was no longer allowed in the church. he had such a look of triumph in his face when he came to the prayer room where i was to tell me. he said, "i don't know what you are doing meditating or praying but the pastor says it is not allowed here." i replied, "you tell your pastor i will not violate your church." "tell him yourself." he said. "no," i replied, "since you are so gleeful to carry his message to me, you tell him." .........later on as i saw the new pastor had a bad spirit. he was arrogant and eventually started committing adultery with a young women of the church and left his wife for her- losing his job. this was a trying time in my life, wandering to and fro, being chased from the houses of people i knew my whole life.

my stand on defending the religion comes from my basic belief that people ought to be left alone to answer to the  ALMIGHTY on their own behavior. if a MUSLIM wants to take the position that JESUS was not literally begotten and is not a literal son of GOD in any physical sense then he-she ought to be allowed his-her opinion. as long as a MUSLIM believes and confirms that he is sent from GOD and is the true messiah (and all MUSLIMS do this.) we should not molest them. this puts me in a dilemma because there are certain radical MUSLIMS who want all the ISLAMIC community to act the same way. we must reject this because taking the innocent along with the guilty is not the way of the prophet nor is it the way of GOD. the prophet says that if you capture an enemy that you are to shelter him feed him and treat him as royalty so that he may both hear and see for himself that GOD is with you. this is an act of charity. if he then wants to he may embrace your religion then you have gained a brother, because you have bestowed on him the love of GOD. and after he says no i wish to remain a CHRISTIAN or a JEW or any other religion, after the hostilities cease he is to be sent home to his people and required to pay the tax which exempts non-Muslims from the duty of military service. this is the true way. from GOD and taught by the prophet MUHAMMAD. those terrorists who display themselves as being guardian of ISLAM and ISLAMIC countries who veil their faces and carry out horrible crimes such as decapitating the person he has kneeling before him with a bag pulled over his face do not know the prophet NOR DO THEY KNOW GOD!!!! this is based on their narrow definition of a so called jihaad. well i say it is a cowards jihaad. this is not to say that all MUSLIMS are such ranting raving fanatics. most MUSLIMS are loving, accommodating, kind, pure hearted hospitable people on the earth. these are the ones i am sworn do defend. and it is for this reason i became a SIKH. i will get to this in the next post. keep this in mind that i will speak about GURU TEGH BAHADUR the 9th human SIKH GURU who gave his head on the block defending people of an other religion, a religion that neither he nor his community agreed with in theology as he and his community were strict monotheists while they were polytheists. 

EMBRACING ISLAM

this may seem confusing because i am actually a SIKH which is an entirely different religion to which i converted to in 2004 while in AMSTERDAM. why or how did i do this? let me explain. i believe that ISLAM is a divinely revealed religion transmitted from GOD in heaven to the first recipient, the PROPHET MUHAMMAD via THE ARCHANGEL GABRIEL. also i aim to defend the religion as much as humanly possible. this could mean several ways in which i intend to carry out this duty, by word and deed and also if needed by the sword. i mean to take up the sword only as a last resort. and i do not mean acts of terrorism as i have already stated that this is not jihaad nor does the QURAN in my opinion sanction such action. the sword is to defend the innocent MUSLIMS. i mean by this those who are not being aggressive towards other people but are being persecuted in spite of being non aggressive. the sword is in 2 forms 1)the actual physical weapon   2)the word of GOD    this is why i speak out in favor of the religion. and face persecution myself as i have faced it already. my family and old friends who have turned away from me and strangers across the country in places where i have been staying such as in the SALVATION ARMY mens shelter where i was constantly being picked on and called a "fucking rag head" amongst other choice adjectives. the MUSLIMS believe that JESUS WAS THE ONLY TRUE MESSIAH SENT FROM GOD and this is why i defend them. because as i have stated ISLAM restored my belief in the virgin birth. so say that JESUS comes from GOD is enough to qualify MUHAMMAD as a prophet. because he was illiterate and not acquainted with many CHRISTIANS in his day. the QURAN confirms many truths CHRISTIANITY and JUDAISM teaches. and it is all strict HOLINESS. 

i believe in jihaad. but this concept has been taken out of context both sides of the issue. the term actually means struggle. it could become extreme in the form of open warfare. but this is a last resort only after all other means have been tried and failed then in self defense people are suppose to see to it that peace and justice prevails on the planet. the true jihaad is our constant struggle against evil within. it is to fight sin and involves a daily death of self and selfishness altogether. i will go into the QURAN here soon and show this context in its true meaning. i will leave the readers with this food for thought. the QURAN says that fighting is not good but worse is the oppression of people i.e. driving them from their homes and of preventing them from praying in the mosque. because they say, "we worship only one GOD and hence are MUSLIMS," it is said to make trouble for them or if people want to walk upright and holy before GOD and unbelievers insist on spreading corruption. the fight must be ensued until the other side concurs and sues for peace than the believer is commanded to also make peace so that evil will be exterminated. this means you face your adversary face to face. it is not jihaad to blow yourself up and taking innocent people out with you. not every CHRISTIAN is against ISLAM nor is every MUSLIM against CHRISTIANS. and not every JEW is evil. though some obviously are, not all are. taking innocent life is wrong and it is not wrong to answer an adversary face to face. this means that it is cowardly to hide behind embankments while lobbing missiles and bullets at the other side hoping to not yourself being killed. no a brave soldier faces his/her opponents head on with the sword. he/she would not take action which may result in collateral damage or the death of the innocent (i.e. women, children, animals, plant life, old men beyond their years and no ability to defend themselves.) he would fight only those who fight him face to face. any other way is cowardly and dirty and underhanded and sneaky. GOD would not bless such an action. but the perpetrators would suffer the ill kharma his deeds have sent before him.

of course those who revoked my passport used the child support bill i owed as the excuse for cancelling the passport. and this meant homelessness for sure. i had been in GERMANY long enough and had a steady job so that the authorities at immigration said to me, "get a new page in in the passport and we will give you a permanent visa to stay forever here." so i wrote the US. consulate and they said for me to send it to them in MUNICH and that they processed the passports right there. this turned out to be a lie. the passports are actually processed in NEW ORLEANS. all the consulate had the authority to do was issue temporary passports in order for a person to return to the states. when the passport was returned it had a bunch of holes punched in it and it was stamped "revoked." you see i left the states because i was homeless and the U.S. took away that from me. and made me return to the homeless life. even when my lawyer offered to settle the matter the women at child support collection said i would have to pay the whole amount and i did not have it. now the F.B.I. got involved as they were tailing me all over the place. when i mentioned this to friends they got scared and some told me that i was being paranoid. well this turned out to not be the case because sure enough the F.B.I. went to mom and dad's church and interrogated them right in front of their pastor. i will go into this in the next post. as i had embraced ISLAM in 1996. and had spent time in the far east in INDONESIA so they thought i was involved in terrorism. well i was not nor have i ever been.

the man who lived upstairs told me that he dropped the camera down through the heating vent and snapped a photo. so i used this as leverage to force DEBBIE to admit that she was lying to me about the affair. and when i mentioned this to her she began to curse and swear. that son-ovabitch she said! so off she went with her new found sex partner. and when i went to the apartment there was the marriage certificate which was before in a frame hanging on the wall broken and tore up on the floor. i had never gone anywhere and had always provided for her and generally gave her no real reason to be so nasty to me. all of this hurt me and put me in a rage which i was still in years later. even when i was living in GERMANY 20 years later i was still in a rage. i just never forgave DEBBIE nor could i forgive PATTY who disappeared with out telling me that i had a daughter. of course neither she nor PATTY are the only wrong doers here because of DEBBIE'S infidelity, i began to play the game-"i can do this too"- so i began to fool around on her to get even which was no better and since i already was in a living hell by this time it just added to my anger and misery and i carried this rage until here recently. all of this built up anger left me a person who had absolutely no peace in my heart. but only rage and anger. this is why the practice of BUDDHIST meditation did not work. that sort of meditation needs a person to leave behind all attachment and desires. these things kept me from getting peace ant because of it i wandered the globe, around the planet twice. in 1997 i left for EUROPE and off to the REPUBLIC OF INDONESIA, MALAYSIA, SINGAPORE and beyond. in 1999 i left again to go to the far east and then i lived in EUROPE for years. living on the floor of mosques  and in a camper. things began to get sticky because the US government cancelled my passport and forced me to return to the states which meant homelessness. and i wandered far and wide across this country FROM UTAH TO NEW YORK CITY TO SOUTH CAROLINA TO TENNESSEE TO FLORIDA TO ATLANTA, the FBI was following me and i will tell all soon.............

Mr. Phelps and i began to chum around at the gas station and when i got terminated, he and DEBBIE began to have an affair. i knew it was going on anyway but i could not get her nor him to admit it. afterwards when i saw him i would chase him down and try to get him to get out of the car to fight but he would only sit there with his window up ad stare at me. i tried this several times and she would come and get between us. i remember once she said to me, "if you touch him, you will never see your son again!" actually he was not my biological off spring any how so i was not daunted. i stayed mad at him for months and at her for years. i hated her guts and it ate at my soul. because i was so full of rage and anger that i may have killed him. i am glad that GOD did not allow this in spite of the things i said and the way i was acting. it was partly my ego which i felt humiliated in front of my friends that i was locked into the vice of needing to save face. i remember that she told me that she wanted to separate for a week to think things over. i cried and cried after she told me that. so i left and went up to KENTUCKY with my uncle. it was not 30 minutes when i left the house that DONNIE showed up there and spent the whole week with her. i was told this by the man upstairs who we rented the basement apartment from.............

on my descent into the living hell i was hired on at a gas station in EVARTS KENTUCKY and it wasn't too long afterward that the assistant manager in KNOXVILLE got his butt fired. and WADE who was the brother to the man who was married to my father's sister wanted me to move there to take over the job. WADE had about 12 stations he managed which strung across THE SOUTHEASTERN part of KENTUCKY plus he had the one in KNOXVILLE. in time he caught the manager there stealing money and canned him too. and i was left as manager. my uncle who was married to DARLENE dad's sister was sent there to help me to get orientated as he used to manage the EVARTS station. he was a big crook and talked me into helping him steal gas the first day on the job. it was a simple procedure which involved loosening the four bolts which held the pump computer in place, and lifting it up to remove the main pin. as long as the pin was out meant that the pump would pump out the gasoline and not register in the computer. and as long as the record showed that there was more gas in the huge underground tanks then was on the books,, we could pump it into our gas tanks and nothing would show it. this became the reason that i eventually got terminated. you see i was lining people up for free gas in exchange for drugs. the drugs we sold off to others making a profit plus we took some of them ourselves. quaaludes (a high strength downer) were on the list as well as pot, and hashish and cocaine. and we stole gas daily. when the truck drivers came to fill the gas tanks underground. they would let us empty what was left in the truck to put in our cars. what a racket we had going. and eventually they caught on to what was taking place. all of us were ordered to go take a polygraph. several of the drivers did not show up and were fired. i did show up and got fired. i must have thought that i could beat the polygraph machine but the man told WADE i was stealing him blind. so he took my keys and fired me. after that i ended up sleeping in a motel with DEBBIE who was the girl that i married with another's child. while she worked at the gas station (i hired her on). this is when she started to mess around with my friend DONNIE PHELPS............more to come.

so at 18 years of age, i began my swift descent into a living hell and this did not stop until i saw the bed of the SALVATION ARMY men's shelter in KNOXVILLE TENNESSEE. and it was that i began to search for the real GOD. i had been up to this date studying BUDDHISM and this pathway sent me to LAS VEGAS NEVADA to live at my sister's house. there in LAS VEGAS was a THAI BUDDHIST WAT and i went there daily seeking to become a monk. after some time i was approached by one of the monks and asked if i wanted to be a monk. yes i said. so he gave me a business card from a monk who oversaw this monastery on the other end of LAS VEGAS and he accepted me but i had to wait until he returned from BURMA where he was going on a pilgrimage to the temple of the EMERALD BUDDHA. time was of the most importance and it was running out. one day my sister spoke to me. SAM wants me to tell that he doesn't believe you are trying hard enough to get a job. well obviously i was not there to work in the sense that i wanted anything to do with the accumulation of worldly goods but wanted to do deep spiritual contemplation and soul searching. so SAM my sister's husband wanted me to move out. i was in despair and told her i already know what you are going to talk about so today i am packing my things and heading out into the desert to die. she was not having anything to do with that and said,"you will die out there!" my reply was to her i do not care if i had to die or not if that was what it would take, i was prepared to die. she finally talked me into taking money and a bus ticket to KNOXVILLE and this is how i ended up in the men's shelter. i had gotten into BUDDHISM because i was studying karate at the time and it seemed appropriate. and i was really practicing the religion as much as i could and every day it was karate too. i was looking for some peace of mind but there was no peace as i was being constantly picked on and falsely accused and lied about. it seemed that i was in  constant "hot water" all of the time. this was the first time out of twice i lived there in the shelter. this time i met a women from INDIA who was selling silver jewelry in the mall. she had a booth set up there. i felt so drawn to go and speak to her. i was ignorant of other cultures so i assumed that she was either a HINDU of the same as i was practicing BUDDHISM. i went over to her and began to ask questions. "are you a HINDU?" "no." "a BUDDHIST?" "no." "what is your religion?" i asked. she replied,"i am in ISLAM" i was surprised to say the least and i was fully indoctrinated into the notion that MUSLIMS were a bunch of raving fanatics and did not want peace but only war. this women did not fit within that framework. and i began to see that she had something real which i did not. her and i conversed for over an hour. and i was so impressed. some time before this i had prayed to GOD and told him that i needed a women and that i was not cut out for a life of celibacy. i had been accepted 2 times to be a BUDDHIST monk, once when i was living in CALIFORNIA studying karate. i began to attend the BUDDHIST temple who's congregation was from VIETNAM. i was looking to bring good into the world. this was what i told them when they asked me why i wanted to become a monk. i was aware that i wasn't doing well and had made myself a lot of bad karma and this was the reason i was homeless. I JUST WANTED TO ATONE MYSELF. it is ironic because there in KNOXVILLE i began my evil years and these years had now come full circle and there i was again, right back there in KNOXVILLE. stuck in a trap......

so i went to the church and confronted the former pastors wife who by now was the elected pastor of the church. i said to her what went on and asked her if what the man was saying about her was true. "i hear the real reason your husband was fooling around on you was that you refused to allow him to have sex with you" i said and then i asked the question,"is this true?" with tears in her eyes she said yes it is true.............well i did not need to hear any more and i just gave up right there on the spot............and i sank further in despair. i sank so low that i had come to deny many things and to deny the virgin birth of JESUS CHRIST was most serious. i went into occult, magic ritual, black magic, and satanism. i was an adulterer, a thief, a petty criminal. i thank the LORD that in spite of all of this that he watched over me and protected me from my own stupidity many times. many times i engaged myself in things which if caught would have been in prison such as embezzlement from the gas station i was managing which eventually got me fired. and drug use such as cocaine and heroin and opium etc. GOD saved me from all of this stuff, so that i stand before GOD today in this mission THE ISRAEL OF GOD INTERNATIONAL HOUSE OF PRAYER as a soldier-saint for GOD. i give GOD all the glory and praise for this. it is a complete miracle that i am even alive. i remember snorting cocaine right off the table in a bar in LAS VEGAS. i got quite a thrill when i committed a crime and was able to get away from it. what i forgot was that i hadn't actually gotten away with anything because you see everything i did was recorded by the holy angels. this slide into the living hell was marked with poaching deer and even rustling animals right from farmers fields and the list was endless of the bad kharma i had racked up for myself. the homeless life which i was reduced to ended me up in various men's shelters around the country and i went from deep trouble to deeper despair for a very long time. 

the times came and went at the little church and i was aware that there was something very wrong there. i remember that i was about 14 yrs of age at the time and as i descended the stairs leading to the basement of the church to use the restroom there was the pastor of the church and he had a young women right up against the wall. he quickly moved away from her when i saw him. and i knew that trouble was coming to the church. soon and it wasn't too long afterward he set himself down in the audience and just stopped preaching altogether. i was troubled and suffering with anxiety. and the news finally came down that he was caught by his wife fooling around with another women. and he was gone completely and his wife had control of the church. this story goes deep and it just about wrecked us kids. my sister was very hurt because because the women in question was the mother of her SUNDAY SCHOOL teacher. and i remember my sister setting there crying for a long time. all of us were devastated completely. i did not realize the full extent of this because some years went by and i was 26 years old and working at DEXTER SHOE COMPANY when a fella i knew there began to say nasty things against the pastor's wife who was in full dictatorial control of the church. he and i got into a fight because he said that if she had of taken him to bed and gave him an old fashioned fucking he would have never had fooled around on her. i got mad and told him that i was going to go and ask her and if she denied this that i was going to return and punch him in the head! i was an angry young man and was headed down a bad road already. i had gotten myself in over my head with two women. one came to live with me in the state of TENNESSEE and was suppose to marry me. in about 2 weeks later she told that her father had a heart attack and i sold the only thing of value which was a snub nose .38 cal. 5 shot revolver and bought her a one way bus ticket back to MAINE. she said she was coming back in a couple of weeks but i never heard from her again for some years. meanwhile i met and got married to a TENNESSEE girl who was already pregnant with another man's child. and i consented to him having my last name. this did not last because she ran away with a man who was suppose to be my friend. it turned out he was only there because he was interested in stealing my young wife. who took off with him and he lost his job so she returned to me and like a dummy i took her back in. i found out that the other women had my baby a girl. and much later i learned from the state of MAINE human services that she refused to name me as the father on the birth certificate. but they came after me in spite of it. this was not only for money she had collected from them for the daughter. but also for the money TENNESSEE gave to the one i married on her son. of course to add to this volatile mix were biological offspring i had with her. this amounted to the large part of my wages were taken by force from the state and this put me on the streets homeless! i remember setting there at the hearing and hearing from them what they were going to do, i said what can i do, what you are doing is going to put me out into the streets homeless. the women at the hearing got very harsh with me and told me to go and live in a cardboard box. i got mad and told her that if they were going to do tis i would quit my job and not work and that they would not get a dime! so i did just that and they also revoked my driver's licence. so not only was i homeless but i was forced to walk. it was a 7 mile hike to work and there was big holes in my boots. with snow on the ground i put old bread bags on my feet to keep them dry. finally i sold my car to afford to buy new boots. i was in a pickle.  .......i do not know if i can get into this story every detail but let me back up a few years to when i was about 18 yrs old. i was not doing well in those days and was headed for suicide. already one of my friends had blown his own head off. he had quit his job at the shoe shop and was going to spend as he put it the whole winter living in this camp trapping. i never saw him alive again. he was discovered dead in the spring. i did not know what to do with myself and i was failing fast. then one day i found MARIJUANA. i smoked the stuff day and night. and it had caused me to do something i had never really done. it had caused me to laugh and laugh and laugh. this mellowed me enough so that suicide no longer seemed an option to me. i can safely say to you the reader and i am not ashamed to say it it was the blessed herb given to me by my creator which lead me away from killing myself. of course my family did not see things this way and criticized me severely for using pot. i could not get a break from them before this and when i had finally something which helped me they said i was no good and was nothing but a pothead...... 

so i had this bad taste in my being. which said, "you had it so hard at home that you would have rather have gone to a place where you know will be molested." this was a sick thing and it haunted me for years so that i would find women to have sex with, as many as i could (if you will pardon the pun)lay my hands on. i was trying desperately wash myself of the sick filth of sodomy. and got myself in the most difficult of trap which could exist...WILD WOMEN......PROVERBS warns us about this. you may read PROVERBS chapters 5 - 6 - 7, tells it all and i entered into the next hell which was the one which almost ultimately lead me to death. it caused me to end up homeless for 14 years. i wandered all around the country and around the whole globe 2 times. i want to talk about this period of time in my life which i call the "EVIL YEARS". i have to sincerely thank my maker for saving me through my stupidity. as i am here to tell this story when many of my friends are dead today. alcohol was involved and i sank so low that i flatout denied belief in the VIRGIN BIRTH OF JESUS CHRIST. it was after i ended up homeless that i was restored my sanity and kept it. because it was the QURAN the holy book of ISLAM which saved me from the ruin of my unbelief. THE QURAN STATES THAT JESUS WAS BORN OF A VIRGIN and this restored my faith in JESUS. WITHOUT HIM I HAD NO HOPE WHATSOEVER AND WAS DOOMED TO AN ETERNITY WITHOUT GOD. hopefully if i don't get sidetracked on some other subject i will tell all.  

i found out that hatred cannot be the motivator. and this was the motivation that was haunting me from the core of my being. hatred is the same as murder. a murderer cannot inherit the KINGDOM OF GOD. with such daemon going about in there - there can never be peace. MOSES had it in his heart that he would free his fellow HEBREWS from the bondage in EGYPT. so he took actions which got him exiled into the ARABIAN wilderness under the teachings of JETHRO the high priest of MID-I-AN. you see MOSES took matters into his own hands and this resulted in murder. he killed an EGYPTIAN who was oppressing a HEBREW slave. this act got him in the desert until he was in his 80's before he was ready to go fourth and do it GOD'S way. hatred wants people to take matters into their hands. to take vengeance when vengeance belongs to the LORD. it is his word which is the sword. for all must give account someday to see how they measure up. what a change, which has begun within my being. and finally now i can tell this story so that others can be helped from my experiences. then GOD can use me to help others.............................no, hatred cannot do it only the LIVING WORD can. that is the very word which gives us life and we are living breathing organisms who can consciously worship our creator.

the transformation has begun. because you see i am going to tell all of this story. it is the story of where i came from.... i declared above that i weep for my mother. because you must understand that is the women who brought me, no doubt kicking and screaming into this world. so i am not angry with her. and as it turns out i never was. only bruised and hurt. i often tried to do various things in order to bond with her and the thing i did the most was gather flowers for her and transplant little maples i had found growing in the woods out back all over the yard. she really loved that. and of that i spent much time in the woods. this is where i first saw the mushrooms. i will speak more of that later on. and will only say at this point that it was in the forest where i could scream and cry to our ETERNAL FATHER IN HEAVEN pleading for his help. i never had anger towards mom. but i had HATE against those who would put her through such a time that she would resent men so severely. this was the root of the problem she was hurt very deeply because of the misguided evil actions of men which further alienated her from her own mother. you see i had this murderous hate swimming within my being like a daemonic force against the perpetrators of crimes against my own mother! it was eating me up like a cancer. and i did not even know it. and THIS IS THE ROOT OF MY PROBLEM. in the last week or so i have been suffering with severe back trauma WHICH SENT ME TO THE CHIROPRACTOR . this had me go home early from work and i had the next 2 days off. the 2nd one, today was a scheduled day off. thank the LORD IN HEAVEN because i had myself a good crying spell. this is when the voice of the LORD came to my mind saying you leave those people to me and pray that i have mercy on them. and stop hating them. all of a sudden my back began to heal. and my breath began to return to me!!!HALLELUEAH!!!WAHEGURU(GREAT WONDEROUS LORD) certainly the one who made us knows how to repair us.........mOrE nExT tImE

i can imagine what some of the readers are thinking, "how much can a kid take before his spirit is broken and he suffers permanent psychological damage?" well there were at least 3 that i can remember who spoke up to my parents. this was the ultimate conundrum as if they said anything to my parents especially my mother she would get mad and become more intense and more harsh than before. the three i have mentioned are my grandmother (dad's mother), my aunt who was both the daughter of the pastor and married to the brother of my father. then there was the pastor's wife. who offered to me her guitar to learn on. but mom took it out in me and i did not ask for it. it was given voluntarily. then my aunt had a birthday party for me but mom refused to take me there. they took me instead to PARKMAN where MAMAW lived MAMAW was what we called dad's mom. when always went there on SATURDAYS to take her grocery shopping because they were very poor and could not afford a car. when we got there MAMAW was mad at mom and told my father, "you turn right around and take him back to DEXTER to that birthday party!" (i am sitting here crying tears as i am writing this because the hurt of it still is there) here i am going on 53 years of age in MAY and i have never gotten over the hurt and pain of it in my heart. (i remember the day i was born the trouble my father's boss put him through and after all of these years i have blamed myself for even being born at all.) i am not only weeping because of the pain within myself, but i also weep for my poor mother who was so hurt  in her childhood that she would turn out to be this way. and i weep for all of the innocent children out there in this world who are suffer hurt, homelessness, hunger, and abuse even killed like those children in PALESTINE who are living day and day in such dire circumstances. they live on the dumps and in abandoned houses and buildings. being taken and having forced prostitution  put on them and other abuses every day and i sit here completely powerless to help. i feel for their pain. in 1999 i was living in the REPUBLIC OF INDONESIA. and i witnessed a sight in which i will never get out of my mind. i was in this restaurant eating after crossing the STRAITS OF MALAKA by speed boat. i remember that we did not have any AMERICAN money only GERMAN MARKS and we could not get any body there in DUMAI to cash the MARKS for rupiah which is INDONESIAN currency. so we had very little cash to eat on. i was sitting there in the restaurant  complaining because i could only afford soup. all of a sudden these kids about 4 or 5 of them who's ages i guessed ranged between 3 to 5 years of age. they approached my table and the restaurant owner began to drive them out. he was very harsh. i spoke up for him to stop ans asked those there what the kids wanted. they want to wash your sandals was the answer. why i inquired and the answer was these kids are orphans and have nothing to eat and often polish shoes and such to get some money to buy a little rice to eat. i got up from the table and went outside with them. there i could see the hardship of their lives in their faces. there was not joy and innocence normal kids had but the look of people who had to bear the hard labor as if in a field. they had eyes which were tired. and when the restaurant owner began to be harsh with them one of them, a little boy who i guess couldn't have been no older then 3 or 4 just hung his head. this got to me and i began to weep right there in front of all. i paid these kids for washing my sandals and also bought a large bunch of bananas for them. and recieved my calling from GOD there and then. GOD said through the mouth of the messiah JESUS, "i was hungry and you did not feed me, sick and you did not attend my need, naked and you did not clothe me." i did want to feed them and clothe them and shelter them. THIS IS WHY I AM ON THIS MISSION! HERE IN KINGSVILLE TEXAS at the ISRAEL OF GOD INTERNATIONAL HOUSE OF PRAYER. THIS IS WHY I AM A SIKH SOLDIER-SAINT OF THE LORD. you see i know all of that hurt and i know how it feels to have someone treat me harshly in spite of the situation not being my fault.

to add to this mix was the fact that i would be punished for being sick. this punishment was mostly verbal and i had frequent ear infections and my head throbbed constantly but my mother was very harsh with me to the point of being unreasonable. i remember that i got sent home from school with a fever. when i arrived home there was nobody there so i set on the floor of the front porch. it was spring if i can remember right and it was mild out. thank the LORD IT WAS NOT COLD as spring in the state of MAINE frequently got chilly. it is nothing for the temperatures to drop below freezing in APRIL. the neighbor lady as she drove by our house noticed me there and took me home and put me on her sofa. i was there for quite a while until mom got home. the neighbor lady was the mother of EDDIE ROLF the kid who bullied me and this is ironic that she would be helping me because her son was responsible for terrorizing me while i was walking to and from school. anyhow when mom came home the lady went and told her that i was there and mom came over to get me. mom was sweet to me until she got out of earshot. then she started scolding me for coming home. i was sleeping in the nurses office on a couch there. THEY WERE THE ONES WHO SENT ME HOME. i did not volunteer to go home because i knew what to expect when i got there. also i suffered with allergies and it was that i had to constantly clear my throat. when i would do it she would holler at me. so i would clear my throat as quietly as i could. i invented a system where it would disguise it with other sounds such as pretending to sneeze loudly and at the same time i would clear my throat. i could not do this too much though as she would catch on to what i was doing and i would get hollered at. 

as you can probably tell i desperately need a place of escape and most of the time this was the woods and there are lots of them in my home state. in fact MAINE is just about all woods. there are probably trees growing there which are old growth, parts of a primal forest which dates back hundreds of years which still have not seen a white man only aboriginals . these trees were my refuge when i was a child. i hid in the woods every day when i was a kid to hide myself from the bullies who chased me down on the way home from school to beat me up. so i spent a majority of my time there. so i needed a place of refuge. this is what lured me into the trap of homosexual rape. in our church there was a man who lived with one of the families who attended there. he was a mental handicap and was molesting the young man who lived there. that young man who was at least 4 years my senior was sexually mature as he had an enormous penis and pubic hair and not realizing what was going on in that household i was invited to stay the night. this is when he began to molest me. i was a 10 year old kid and was so naive. the young man talked me into "giving it to his back sides" telling me that this was normal because all young boys needed practice so that when they were older and ready to be with a girl they would know how to "do" it. this was the lie he told me. and he presented himself as somewhat of an expert in the ways of sexuality. of course  i could seek his advice on the matter of sex at anytime so he told me as if he was really my friend. as a kid it was pleasurable to do this as it stimulated my testosterone levels and gave me quite a charge. then it got switched around this time it was he who was thrusting himself into my backside with his large penis and this hurt. all the while being lied to that this thing was okay. because of the abuse i was taking at home and the lack of love and affection i would spend the night there as often as i could. i am definitely not gay. never have been , never will be. i was just a naive little boy who was deceived by the young man who turned out to be gay (i call it queer and i do not care if this is politically correct or not). my need for a place where i was not beaten and mentally abused over- rode the sick feeling i had inside. for one thing  a young boy has absolutely no business having his genitals stimulated at such a young age. this pumps testosterone into his little system and it turns into a dangerous drug! because it need to be self administered over and over again (in some cases daily). most cannot help it and they end up resorting to masturbation which amounts to a situation which is similar to scratching a hive. a hive which you know is an itchy spot on the skin comes from histamine which is produced due to some allergen irritating the body. so the body swells up in spots which itches badly. this invites the person to scratch it. the trap is that it only increases the intensity of the itching sensation which causes more scratching! and the only remedy for it is to simply to leave it alone and suffer the itch until it finally goes away.male and female masturbation causes the production of testosterone in the body which increases sexual desire so that at a normal age and in the right circumstances men will engage in sexual intercourse and in the course of it they will reproduce themselves. under the guidelines set forth by our creator, this sex is to be engaged by 2 married persons of opposite sexual genders. this is GOD'S way and anything else is evil. take an innocent kid and begin to stimulate his sexual hormones and eventually this will drive him to a number of undesired out comes. these outcomes range from frequent masturbation to fornication (unlawful sexual activity), even raping and murder!!! it all begins because a child gets his system charged with testosterone which damages his psychology. to add to this danger some young boys get their system charged with estrogen. this happens as a result of having their nipples stimulated. the stimulation of the nipples in a man does the same thing it does in a women it produces estrogen in the body and makes the boy effeminate and turns him into a girl! although he has no vagina he will seek to find other gay men to treat him as if he was a women. often he will pretend he is a girl and will fantasize that he is a girl and not a boy. the next thing you know he wants to dress as a girl and act as a girl. the nipples are linked to whatever glands which produce estrogen this estrogen promotes femininity in the person even a male. in young girls this is the stimulation of the clitoris. and this is the female counterpart of the male penis. this also produces testosterone in the female body and if it is done often enough the girl turns into a boy with a vagina. she will want to dress and act like a boy. the mental and the psychology becomes confused so much that we hear the statement i was born as a female in a mans body or a male in a womens body. this is the lie SATAN tells them to deceive them. when it is obvious that the person is male and not a women at all or likewise the girl that she is a boy but without the requisite body parts this is why masturbation should be frowned upon and never to be engaged it ever with only one exception the person is sexually mature and married to a member of the opposite sex and they do this thing with EACH OTHER ONLY!!!    SATAN THE DEVIL sets up these programs in order to confuse and destroy the human family. and he does a pretty good job of it. what is required is complete sexual purity and a parent to fully explain to children why this must be so. kids are not dumb and all kids have a basic desire to want to do right......friends and readers this is why the media is pushing the gay agenda on you. SATAN wants to destroy the human family. he wants all people to go down into perdition (self annihilation!) and this was his plan right from the get go and obviously his reason and purpose is to eliminate the final outpouring of the word which will be his downfall. he is very tricky and employs many devices to reach his goal. to completely and utterly destroy all human beings from planet earth.

now i had teachers jump on the band wagon to bully me as well. the principal was one of those persons who delighted when another bigger kid beat me up. after such a fight where i had the other on the ground pinned and punching in the face repeatedly as he started a fight with me in the lunch room. when i reached under the table to retrieved a fork which he deliberately threw down there kicked me in the face as i went under. approached me on the playground and started a fist fight with me. when i wrestled him to the ground and began to punch him the fight was broke up by a teacher who dragged us to the office, the principal said to me that he knew the other kid could actually beat me and that i just got lucky. this was happening because in the 7th grade and 8th grade the GARLAND AND EXETER kids came to the DEXTER school and seeing the others and who they were picking on at the time indicated which kids to bully. so this one kid came behind me while i was taking a piss in the urinal. he started pulling my belt - pulling me away from the urinal so that i was in danger of pissing on the floor. he kept repeating do you think you can take me BINGHAM?! this got my rage burning so bad that i calmly finished my business and zipped up my fly and turned on him quickly seizing him by the shoulders and drove him back to wedging him between the 2 urinals there in which i commenced punching him in the face as hard as i could. i do not remember how long this went on because i had blacked out there and no doubt would have killed him there. but thank GOD i was grabbed from behind by a hollering man who turned out to be the school janitor who separated us and dragged us to the office. he was in bad shape and i felt sorry for him. this was the rage i had in me and my anger was not at him per-se but at my parents, the church, the teachers, and GOD. one thing good happened after this though most of the kids left me alone after that. this leads me up to the real sexual molestation which began about this time. it was homosexual rape actually. and i will get into this soon.

a soldier-saint of the LORD is not a bad destiny to have. this is why i converted to the SIKH religion. to die defending the weak and innocents of this world is an honor. to stand up and fight the spirit of ANTI-CHRIST in this world is to stand up and fight the very spirit which has constantly tried to destroy me from the very beginning. because of this spirit evil has gone out in the world from the time in the GARDEN OF EDEN where mankind was offered one of 2 choices. they were offered the privilege of eating of the tree of life which was the true spirit of the living word which was spoken through the mouths of the prophets and was the manifestation of the true messiah JESUS. not only was it made manifest through him but it was witnessed and testified to by the prophet who followed after him. we know this prophet as HAZRAT NABI MUHAMMAD. since the spirit of ANTI-CHRIST hates the truth it also is responsible for the castigation and persecution of both he and his community the world of ISLAM, since ISLAM is strict holiness. the spirit of ANTI-CHRIST has hated him and all like him. there were a number of others to follow. the most significant was GURU NANAK and nine others who succeeded him and the last of them GURU GOBINDH SINGH upon his death bed appointed the holy book known as the GURU GRANTH SAHIB as the final guru of the SIKHS for all time. what is so significant about all of this is that he GURU GOBINGH SINGH formed the brotherhood of the KHALSA which is translated as the pure ones. these are the inheritance of the whole world. the KHALSA has but only one ambition that is to remember GOD at all times, to earn an honest living and to share some of what you earn with those in need. also to die if need be defending the weak and small. and most importantly he proclaims that MUHAMMAD is a true prophet sent from GOD and ISLAM is from a divine source- GOD himself. i do not feel sad that i have been so honored to be one who is a recipient of a last and final outpouring of the word and when all the dust has settled and we enter the millennial reign of JESUS CHRIST all which will take place will be as a cause of that outpouring. the scripture states in the book of JOEL which is reiterated in the book of ACTS, "in the last days i will pour out my spirit upon all flesh" this is a way to say that the outpouring mentioned will come upon the righteous as well as the wicked. how will it affect them? well i believe it will torment and burn those who reject the living word and insist in behaving wickedly while at the same time it will empower the righteous and they will cause a period of trouble the likes of the earth has never seen since there was a man on earth. those who reject it will be burned by it. and these are the ones who are eating of the tree of knowledge of good and evil. many have had similar life experience as myself some even more severe. we all have the choice which direction we will go. since we all are going to die. some will die in a manner which is shameful and deserving the curse of GOD and the rejection of mankind because they lived in a state of rage, unable in some cases to forgive what has happened to them. they blame this person or that person and either take their own lives of lash out and kill the innocent or others. well i could have been such a person but in spite of  the shameful way i was dealt with refused to go that direction. i have felt like doing it at times but always it was that i wanted to be the unsung hero. love therefore has saved me from a multitude of sins! i wanted to atone myself by coming to the rescue of innocent people who are being hurt by lying wicked spirits. this is why i defend the people of ISLAM. what crimes do they commit especially the children except to be another religion except CHRISTIAN. i will say boldly here and in plain ENGLISH that those who perpetrate violence against innocent people will suffer the violence due them. as the LIVING WORD is a sharp 2 edged sword! it cuts both ways!

as far as i can remember the bullying began when i was in third grade. two boys who did the most of it were EDDIE ROLF and LARRY REED. both boys were far bigger and stronger than i. i hope i have forgiven them for this however. as we all know our inner being and subconscious minds harbor within them at leas the memory of all of this terrorism which i was subjected to. both of them would not do this in the presence of others but would wait until they could catch me alone. or with some friends or in one case EDDIE would hold me down and let his sister wash my face with snow. i carried so much hate for them for years. later on me and EDDIE became good friends and hung out together but LARRY continued this bullying right on into my adult life. he and i both worked in the local shoe factory (DEXTER SHOE COMPANY). and he picked on me even then but from a distance. as i grew up to big as big and strong as he. so his bullying amounted to verbal abuse and getting others who worked there to give me a hard time. i am sure if he had of tried to physically attack me i would have killed him. and i am not talking of giving him a severe beating but actually killing him right there on the spot. this is how much resentment i had developed over the years. now a days i see this differently because i finally understood that GOD had allowed it to be. my father did not ever teach me any self defense because the beliefs of the church caused them not to allow us to not fight back. the scripture says that if anyone strikes us on one cheek to turn to them the other. i believe this idea is based on taking things out of the intended context. this is true also concerning the scripture which has JESUS saying put away your sword. because he who lives by the sword shall die by the sword. i do not believe this means that a young kid should be not taught how to defend himself and then left to the mercy of bigger kids at school. to put the scripture in the correct context here as i have said i will discuss falsehoods taught be CHRISTIAN churches actually gives place to the workings of SATAN who hates those who will walk upright. the same will test the faith of the faithful by heaping abuse on them...to see if they will retaliate. no where in scripture does it say that we are to stand idly by while oppression is perpetrated against the small and weak of this world. you see in the garden of GETHSEMANE where this happened, the man (some say it was ST. PETER) cut off the ear of the servant of the high priest. his intent was to force JESUS to set up an earthy kingdom and overthrow the ROMANS. perhaps he hoped that it would be done by means of miracles. because he was with him and saw the lame walk, the blind eyes opened, the deaf ears hearing etc. not only he saw things this way but all of the disciples saw it the same way. they expected JESUS to overthrow the ROMANS on the spot! first of all JESUS did not need their help. nor does GOD! and to draw a sword to overtake such a force would have certainly brought about the deaths of all involved. we all know the ROMANS were brutal bastards and would have loved to do it. the second point i will make is that to turn the other cheek is a test of faith. THIS HAS NOTHING TO DO WHATSOEVER WITH NOT ALLOWING KIDS TO STAND UP IN THE FACE OF BULLYING!!! SATAN used these false notions to keep the small on their knees where his servants can walk all over them knowing full well that they would be east pickings! so in spite of all of this bullying and my hating the perpetrators. i finally realized that they had taught me how th fight and fight well. i can imagine that i would really kick their ass today. for one thing i have moved on to martial arts training and have been certified to 7th degree black belt. i have them to thank for it. now i see that they did me a service for which i am truly grateful. GOD caused them to train me where my father did not. and made me ready for my destiny a soldier-saint of the LORD. i will explain exactly what this is later on.